Did you watch the royal wedding this morning? I didn’t. I was too busy consoling a friend on her recent divorce. But I did watch some of the recaps online and started to possibly over analyze this whole thing. Royal court aside, the entire world was watching Kate Middleton (Prince William, who?). What did she wear? How did she do her hair? How in love did she look? As millions of women watched the future Queen walk down the aisle, the consensus was:
She got picked for dodgeball.
Let me rewind for a minute. A few weeks ago my friend had just gotten engaged to her boyfriend of 7 years. At a girls brunch, we all hovered around her left hand and examined her bling from every angle possible. Then I had a moment of…the nonsense stare. You know what I mean? When you stare at something for so long that it no longer makes sense anymore. Let’s say if you looked at the word “word” for too long, it no longer had meaning to it. Anyway, I had a nonsense stare moment with her ring because in my mind, I thought, “Why are we so excited about this intrusive piece of useless substance that rests randomly on her finger, waiting to snag on an expensive cashmere sweater?”
I had to voice my opinion and ended up discussing this for weeks. In the end, it’s about a woman’s desire to belong to a man, to be claimed, to be picked. Trust me, at first I thought maybe it’s for the bling, but even after posing the idea of an engagement stick, or engagement scrunchie, women would still be willing to wear it as a symbol of “Claimed.”
And what does this have to do with you and dating girls? I think this clearly reveals one of the most unfulfilled needs of a single girl: the desire to be picked for dodgeball. You know what feels good? When you hold our hand. When you put your arms around us. When you introduce us to your friends. When you request that we date you and only you. Amidst the clusterfuck of nonsense dating games, all we really want to hear you say is: “I pick you for my team.” So when you find that girl, confidently articulate this sentiment to her.
Disclaimer: This is not an excuse for possessive and overly-jealous men who have control and trust issues. We don’t want to be picked for that team.