Ask Miss Singlefied: She keeps wanting to hang out even after she rejected me. Why? (Would you rather be someone’s layover or destination?)

You’re Not Her PR Agent

Sample scenario:

Buddy: “Yo, what happened with the girl you met on Saturday?”

You: “I got her number.  Texted her on Tuesday.”

Buddy: “Nice.  And?”

You: “Nah.  I mean it’s only been three days.  I know she’s really busy with work.  She works at Google, and you know working there can be a bitch.”

Buddy: “What did you text her?”

You: “I wrote…’Hey, it’s Derek, we met on Sat. Wanna grab drinks Thursday after work?'”

Buddy: “As in yesterday?”

You: “Yeah, but it’s cool because I know she takes yoga pretty often, so I’m sure she was occupied with that yesterday.”

Buddy: “Right, ’cause it’s hard to type out a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ when you’re in down doggie style.”

You: “I believe it’s ‘down dog.’  Thanks.  And shit, she might be out of town for work, I know she travels a lot for her job.  Whatever, I texted her again yesterday to see if she’s in town on Saturday.  Nothing back yet, but if anything she’s just playing games.”

Buddy: “Yeah, playing games as in ignoring you?”

You: “No, she’s just making me work for it.  I like that.  Feisty.  Or maybe she didn’t get the text.  She doesn’t have an iPhone, so you know how crappy the other phones are.”

Buddy: [NO RESPONSE]

You: “Dude, she’s a cool girl.  Not like the rest.  She has a busy life.  I think she’s also involved with some sort of volunteer organization.  And her friends from out of town may still be here.  I’ll probably give her a call this weekend.”

___________________________________________________

What does a PR agent do?  They cover up their client’s mistakes, highlight the positive points, and distract the public from the truth.  For example, when Tom Cruise jumped on Oprah’s couch like a chimpanzee, PR statements were put out staying he was preparing for a new movie role.  When Kobe was accused of rape, PR statements described him as a “responsible” man who got involved in a conspiracy.  But guess what, you’re not doing PR for the girl you’re pursuing.  Deep down, you know when you’re being rejected, when she’s being a bitch, and when she’s not interested, but for some reason, some of you still feel the need to DEFEND her.  Especially in front of your friends.  Stop making excuses for her because it doesn’t do you any good either.  In the above scenario, you should just face the truth: she’s clearly not interested but gave you her number because she likes the attention.  But c’mon, no response after 2 texts?  That’s just disrespectful and rude.  You shouldn’t have to defend that fact.

So next time, you find yourself defending some chick you’re chasing after, ask yourself, “Do I actually believe this statement?”  And if you don’t, you better fucking be paid for your PR blitz.

Don’t Take It Personally!: The Art of Dealing with Rejection

REJECTION: Lessons Learned from Chinese Dating Show

I’ve been spending some time lately watching a really popular Chinese dating show called “If You’re The One.”  Here’s the basic premise:

– 24 girls, 1 guy

– Girls have the option to either keep their light on (interested) or off (not interested) for the guy.  They can turn their light off whenever they want.

– When the guy first comes out, he secretly picks one girl as his First Impression girl, or literally translated as “The girl that moved my heart.”  This choice is only revealed to the host and people watching at home.

– There then is banter between the host and the bachelorettes, as they unleash their opinions about the bachelor in question.

– At the end of the segment, given that there is more than 1 girl who has her light on still, the bachelor picks 2 girls to find out more info.  In addition, the First Impression girl is thrown into the mix, too, regardless of whether she left her light on or not.

– Result: the bachelor can pick one of the girls to “take away,” but if he chooses his First Impression girl and she did not leave her light on for him, he has to plead for her to give him a chance.

I started watching the show because it’s the type of absurdity that you know would never exist in reality.  For example, the girls are extremely honest with their opinions of the bachelors.  “He’s a little fat.”  “He looks a little gay.”  “I question his fashion sense.”  And my favorite: “He looks poor.”  But when the bachelor is extremely good looking (quite rare), or is an overall great catch, the girls get super desperate.   “It’s my dream to be the perfect wife for you.”  “I will cook for you and bring you food to your office, everyday.”  “I can look a lot prettier if you want me to.”  Basically pleas along the lines of, “I will do everything short of wiping your ass.  OK, I could do that, too.”

So, the most interesting observation I’ve made pertains to how bachelors handle their First Impression girl, the girl who moved their heart.  I would say, of all the episodes I’ve watched, close to 90% of men choose their First Impression girl in the end, regardless of whether she left her light on or not.  And about 99% of time, the girl rejects him.  And the more she says “no,” the more the bachelor ups his game.  Which, then forces the girl to say something devastating cliche like, “Let’s try to be friends first.”  He’s then left empty-handed and publicly humiliated in front of millions of viewers who were rooting for any of the other girls.

What are the takeaways?

One.  Guys are hunters.  HER.  ME WANT.  <good ol’ fashioned chest pounding>

Two.  Girls may not know if you are what they want, but they sure know when you’re NOT what they want.

Three.  When a guy has his eyes on the prize, all other options pale in comparison.

Four.  If a girl rejects a guy, her mind is made up.

Five.  When a guy is faced with rejection, his first inclination is to try harder. 

Six.  Girls can be dicks, too.

So in the end, if she’s pretty clear that she’s not interested, she’s not interested.  And the energy you spend trying to convince her otherwise should be used to open your eyes to the other “contestants” who are just as great, if not better.

And if you want to waste 10 minutes of  your life…

How To Get The Girl | IGNORE and SCORE: Dating Mindsets Explained – How To Attract And Date Beautiful Women

Ask Miss Singlefied: Top 5 Dating Lessons Learned in 2011

 

5. “The Reality TV Effect”: Why sometimes an amazing date doesn’t necessarily mean she likes you

4. The Friend Zone: How to get out before it’s too late

3. How to handle rejection

2. How can you tell when she’s playing hard too get; sending mixed messages

1. The Nice Guy: It’s not about being too nice

 

 
How To Get The Girl | IGNORE and SCORE: Dating Mindsets Explained – How To Attract And Date Beautiful Women

Your 2011 Year in Review

2011 was a great year for Singlefied.  We officially launched the blog, created great partnerships, attracted worthy attention from the press, started the successful show Ask Miss Singlefied, and ended the year with a sexy write-up on Jackfroot.com.  But most importantly, we met you.  Thank you for your support, feedback, stories and discussions.  As a thank you, let’s review all the popular posts from 2011 that will make your dating life even better in 2012 [given that the world does not fucking end].

Who are you?

Get to know yourself: the good, the bad, the ugly.

How to stop being victimized as the nice guy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where are you?

With each new year means movement in your Dating Timeline.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who are women?

How do women think differently.

How to talk to her.

How she becomes attracted to you.

How to handle hot, bitchy women.

How to tell when she’s truly interested.

How to handle rejection.

Why she swallows.

 

 

 

What do women like in bed?

Learn from porn for women.

How to keep your dick hard.

 

 

 

 

 

Tools of dating:

Online dating

Speed dating

What colors to wear on a date

Handling the ex

Coping with heartbreak

The Creeper Sweeper

 

 

 

WARNINGS

5 things that won’t get you another date

Curse of the buffet (dating too many women at once)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SpeedDating(SM): A Timesaving Guide to Finding Your Lifelong Love

Ask Miss Singlefied: Getting mixed signals AFTER she’s rejected you?

The new Kindle Touch now available for only $99 at Amazon

Ask Miss Singlefied: Asking her out again after she’s rejected you before?

The new MacBook Air, on sale for under $1000 at Amazon.com .

Ask Miss Singlefied: How do you handle being stood up on a date (especially if SHE asked YOU out)?

The new MacBook Air, on sale for under $1000 at Amazon.com
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