HOW TO: Spot a Gold Digger

• She magically disappears right before the check comes
• She’s waaaay more attractive than you are
• She goes to hedge fund meetup events for “fun”
• Her Facebook pictures are mainly of her in formal gowns attending some benefit for a life-threatening disease
• She lives all the way uptown but only likes to hang out on Wall Street
• Her vacation photos are only just of her, in some exotic place, smiling at the photographer who has seemingly manly fingers
• She likes to allude to expensive outings such as going to shows, getting bottles at a club and weekend getaways
• She cancels a date because she couldn’t afford a mani-pedi and a blowout.  She didn’t want to let you down by not looking up-to-par
• She carries a Chanel bag, wears Cartier jewelry, and walks around in Louboutins, yet she still can’t quite tell you what she does for a living.  (“I was in real estate, and sometimes I guest bartend at this place downtown…”)
• She thinks “What’s your net worth?” is a good question to follow “What’s your favorite food?” on a first date
• Her profile is on Sugardaddie.com AND Wealthymen.com

Close the Ex-Files

As humans, we tend to hold on to things, especially memories of the past. That is why it’s hard for us to get rid of photos, souvenirs and memorabilia because these things trigger tangible memories. Same goes for your ex. More guys than girls still keep in touch with their most recent ex and some even hang out on a regular basis. My friend Wendy was dating a guy who kept in touch with all of his ex-girlfriends. He even had pictures of him and all of his has-been girlfriends on his Facebook for the whole world to see. She stopped seeing him after 2 weeks.

Many people will disagree with me on this, but I truly believe once you break up, you should cut off all communication. Here are my top reasons for closing your ex-files:

1) Hanging out with an ex will constantly remind you of a failed relationship. Nobody wants to be reminded of their failures.

2) The presence of an ex will trigger your past behavior. The man you were. Which, in turn, holds you back from being the man you can become.  We’re all works in progress, so why take 2 steps back when you’ve just taken 2 steps forward?

3) Whether you insist on there being no sexual chemistry whatsoever between you and your former lover, the new girl you want to date will never believe you.  Why?  Everyone has had ex-sex at some point in their life.  There will always be a lingering suspicion that you may/still are hooking up with your ex.  Even if you’re not, why create this unnecessary drama?

4) You’re setting yourself up to getting hurt.  You think you’re over her.  It’s all dandy right now when both of you are single.  But what if one day you see her holding hands with some guy and tells you she can no longer hang out with you?  Wouldn’t you feel like such a loser?!

5) Guys often say to me, “I still want to be friends with my ex because she’s fun to hang out with.”  Why?  You have no other friends to hang out with?  Are your friends not fun?!  You have enough friends.  No need to cling on to one that comes with baggage.

6) To put it bluntly: new pussy is better.  No need to revisit the land of been-there-done-that.

Now, I don’t think you have to cut off communication from you ex FOREVER.  If she was a big part of your life or meant a lot to you, you guys will naturally find your way into a platonic friendship zone when the time is right for BOTH parties involved.  If with all this said and you still want to hang on to your ex, maybe you don’t really want her to be an ex.

Facebook Dating Etiquette

• Don’t Friend Request someone after just the first date.  You don’t know where this is going, do you really want to hide your inappropriate ex-girlfriend pics from her yet?
• Don’t have a relationship status unless you’re ready for the press release.  I’ve heard of so many horror breakup stories of people getting hurt because their ex changed their status first.  Why be the star in that drama?
• Do customize your profile for separate audiences.  Categorize your females as “Breakups” and “Hookups.”  The “Breakups” group are comprised of girls you’ve been with in the past.  We (girls) like to stalk our ex’s profiles and make up stories about him and the girls in his pictures.  It’s not pretty.  Therefore, the “Breakups” group should only see a limited profile.  And as for the “Hookups” group, make sure to hide your pics with your ex’s.
• Don’t Friend Request more than once.  I once had a guy I met at a bar friend request me 4 times before sending me a message to ask me why I haven’t accepted his request.  That’s social media harassment.
• Don’t update your status 5 million times a day.  Girls can do that, guys shouldn’t.  It’s not sexy and it makes it seem like you don’t got a life.  Girls like a little mystery, and “Steve is picking up dry-cleaning then headed off to the gym to lift with his other juice head friends” is not mysterious.