Hi daters! While I will still keep this blog active, I think you may want to check out my newest dating venture – the Date/able Podcast! And you guessed it, it’s a show all about modern dating. On each episode, my co-host and I dissect a dating story. Some of bizarre, some are inspirational, and some are down right shocking. Either way, you’ll learn something each time and be glad to know you’re not in this alone!
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Tags: ask miss singlefied, asking her out, calling a girl, confusing texts, cult media online, dating advice for guys, dating advice for men, dating success, getting the girl, high school dating, how to text a girl, singlefiedyue, soberfirstkiss, teen dating, yue xu dating coach
Tags: ask miss singlefied, dating, dating advice, dating advisor, dating hacks, dating help, dating tips, dating tips for guys, dating tips for men, dating tricks, does she like me, female dating coach, getting your crush, high school dating, how to date, how to get the girl, how to understand her, pua, reading a girl, reading her mind, relationship advice, relationship tips, soberfirstkiss, teen dating, yue xu dating coach
http://www.Singlefied.com – DATING ADVICE: She acts like your girlfriend but claims she isn’t. Why? (DATING ADVICE FOR GUYS)
She holds your hand, is affectionate, and introduces you to all her friends. She certainly acts like your girlfriend, but claims she’s not! Why is she acting that way? Is she leading you on? Miss Singlefied let’s you know what’s up.
Dating can get really confusing when you don’t establish what your relationship is. It sounds silly, why does love and affection need to be verbally established? Well, that’s how you establish boundaries and standards. Without communicating these, it is easy for two people not be on the same page. And when two people are not on the same page, one person is bound to get hurt. Think about it, if there were no rules in sports, then people would able to do all sorts of things to win a game. But it’s only when these rules are established, then people know what is within boundaries. The same goes for relationships. What may be OK to one person may not be OK to the other. Remember, in the grand scheme of things, the person you’re hanging out with is barely a stranger. She hasn’t known you all your life. So how do you expect that you’ll both be on the same page with the same thoughts and ideas of what is good for a relationship. Before you start accusing someone of leading you on or sending you mixed messages, Miss Singlefied in this video shows you what you have the right to feel. You may just rethink your relationships!
Music as follows:
1) Cut Beat 100 by Sahmaoui Abdessamie under the Creative Commons Attributions License available at http://free-loops.com/8603-cut-beat-100.html
2) Rock N Knock by Sahmaoui Abdessamie under the Creative Commons Attributions License available at: http://free-loops.com/8602-rock-n-knock-.html
Ask your dating questions at: http://www.Singlefied.com or tweet @SinglefiedYue. Yue Xu, aka Miss Singlefied, is an established dating coach for men from NYC, LA and Beijing. She is the founder and advocate of the SoberFirstKiss movement. #soberfirstkiss
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Tags: ask miss singlefied, dating problem, dating question, dating vlog, first impression, get her to notice, getting the girl, lasting impression, singlefiedyue, yue xu dating coach
Tags: badoo, eharmony, match, okcupid, online dating stigma, plentyoffish, singlefiedyue
Our weekend post comes from Badoo.com (combining social networking and online dating):
SINGLETONS! It’s time to come out of the cupboards, shimmy out of the shadows, dance out of the darkness and make yourself known to the world at large. If it wasn’t already, we want to declare it official; online dating has finally shaken off the stigma! Your mom uses it, your grandpa uses it, half of your co-workers and all your single college buddies are signed up. It’s in the mainstream press, on the TV, all over the NASDAQ and built in to your cellphone. The age of digital love has finally arrived.
It’s true that the journey has been a long one, fraught with danger for all those who first explored this uncharted territory. Back in the early 80s, prehistoric companies like CompuServe marketed chat through a computer and modem as a ‘CB simulator’, appealing to all those wannabe truckers who were still clinging on to the CB radio craze of the mid-1970s. It just goes to show that, even before the miracle of the Internet, lonely hearts still turned to technology as a way to small-talk with anonymous strangers in a weird language that their parents didn’t understand.
NERD IS THE WORD
Unfortunately, my previous sentence pretty much sums up the mainstream attitude towards Internet chat from its conception in the mid-80s through the enormous rise in chat room activity during the late 90s and even up to very recent times. The assumption was that if you met people online then you simply weren’t capable of ‘normal’ face-to-face social interaction and had no hope of ever forming a fulfilling relationship with anybody. With that sort of backward, close-minded attitude, how on Earth did mankind ever invent something as open and full of glimmering potential as the World Wide Web?
Fast forward to the last quarter of 2012 and it seems we have created a Bizarro world; a sort of parallel universe which, if visited by someone from fifteen years ago, would seem on the surface to be not much different. War in the Middle East, check; global recession, no surprise there…but wait…online dating is ACCEPTABLE now?! It might seem hard to believe to our time-travelling counterpart but if you look at the evidence it is shocking that we ever doubted the power of the Internet to meet someone special.
MEANT TO BE
Long distance relationships are by no means a modern invention; in ye days of olde couples would be torn apart by the need to work, escape poverty and disease or even by war. Tradition dictated that lovers would marry at a tender age and some spent the majority of their marriage apart; it’s safe to say that they would have killed to have AOL instant messenger for even one day. Another popular tradition was arranged marriage, and if your local farmer had ugly daughters then there was no way out for you. In this age of worldwide commerce, dad has a lot more scope to choose a business partner with good genetics.
It’s no secret that some relationships can fall apart when they climb those all-important stairs to the bedroom. When you get comfortable enough to reveal that kinkier-than-thou, don’t-tell-mother fetish to your one and only, the sad truth is that they might run a mile. However in today’s society you can hold your head up high, walk straight into the online community that suits your naughty fantasy best and meet like-minded people with whom sex may well be worth moving cross-country for. If it’s not, there are a load more fish byting in the digital sea.
If you’re reading this, you may have been an early adopter who has loved and lost on eHarmony and lived to tell the tale, or perhaps you were a one-time naysayer who saw the light, took the plunge and now doesn’t leave home without your Badoo mobile app. Either way, tastes have changed worldwide and what was a fringe endeavour is now a mainstream way of life because of constant improvement driven by you; the user. So keep chatting, keep flirting and keep on making the online dating scene an exciting movement to be a part of. After all, to the incumbent generation a world without online dating is simply history.
This article was written by Barry Cooke. Barry is a respected usability consultant who has been working in the Internet market for over 15 years in a number of different sectors. He is also a social media expert and a passionate user of social networks such as Twitter and Badoo.
DATING SURVEY RESULTS: Women Want Better Sex; Men Don’t Know What Women Want (And it May Not Matter)Posted: 02/10/2012 by Singlefied in Dating, How To, Pick-Up Strategies, Rejection, Uncategorized
Tags: dating research, dating study, dating survey, miss singlefied, singlefiedyue, what men want, what women want
Results of the Dating Survey are in! We had 100 participants: 41% female and 59% male. The results are fascinating and somewhat surprising.
*In the survey, participants were asked to give their demographic info (age, location, occupation, employment status, relationship status and sexual preference) and then rank the following qualities in order of importance when evaluating a potential mate: Looks, Personality/Sense of Humor, Job/Salary, Intelligence/Education, and Good in Bed. Then they were asked to answer the same question according to how they think their opposite sex would respond (this question was added after the survey launched so 10% of participants did not get to answer this question).
Tags: mr big and carrie, sex and the city, singlefied, unsung romantic, what men can learn from satc
Written By: The Unsung Romantic
Her Codename: Mini-Carrie Bradshaw
Category: Fairy Tales
I know what you might be thinking. Any time that a girl uses the word “big” and associates it with a man, the first thought is that she must truly be referring to the size of our penis. What else could it be? On the other hand, there is the dreaded “big teddy bear,” which in lies the problem that you are nothing more than a cuddly, wuddly safe friend who in our male psyche we do not always grasp and still believe that even a teddy bear can get laid. The truth is that when this mujer stated the words to me, “You’re so like my big …”, she was referring to the television bible for women of the last decade – Sex and the City (SATC).
My reactionary internal monologue – “%^&$! that god damn whore of a show and the incurable STD it gave this city.”
Yes, I know who Mr. Big is in that dreaded show. Just like all good soldiers I was dutiful and watched this crap over the course of its never ending run through the scores of SATC influenced girls I dated. Not only was I dutiful, but three steps ahead of the game on female counter intelligence operations. I usually save this for the end, but here is a quick piece of advice: Watch the show, plus the two movies. On top of that, make sure every time you are at the doctor’s office or at any location where females are the primary customer, read Cosmo. Do you think I am crazy? I am not fucking joking around with this. Cosmo, was the old SATC and in a strange universe, they’re both one in the same. The array of misinformed, subjective and irrational advice given in that monthly rag, coupled with a decade of Carrie Bradshaw and her inconceivable escapades have transformed the landscape of rational (if there ever was such a thing) expectations women (girls) expect of men (not boys).
Look, we can get into a whole debate about how that show empowered women across the country (especially carpetbagging transients who moved here from middle-America in search for the glamorous city life,), but this kind of crazy manifestation of a new breed of women has nothing to do with the show being a top-notch production. It was, I tip my cap to that. It’s about the drowning effect it had on millions of women who are between the ages of 25-40 in present day. It created a false sense of reality. It made all of us fellas into living, breathing embodiments of all the male characters in that show. It made us men to be fictional beings. And for an unknown percentage of the women who watched the show, it turned them back into little girls in search of the great knight on his white horse. I’ve dated a lot of these women retarded into girls, but it was this one particular Big incident that made me realize I had two choices: 1) Either be her “Big” and let her ride out the fantasy, or 2) Convince her I am not “Big”, but I’m better than him and I’m real.
So yes, I know very well who Big is, but I still have no idea what that fucking means to this day. Do you? Maybe you can help out on this one. Here are my quick theories on what the incarnations of real world “Bigs” are:
Big 1: I’m a perpetual commitment-phobe. When the kitchen gets to hot, I toss her a fire extinguisher and dash for the nearest fire escape. I’m never around when she needs him. I’m sensitive to her cries at night, but only from a phone call or text away – never in person. I just don’t want anyone controlling my life. I am not cheater, but I need eternal autonomy and distance when I please.
Big 2: Charming. Dashing. Loving. Shares all my adventures with her. Make her feel as if she is the only girl in the world. Tell her she’s the most perfect thing he has ever met in my life, but … I won’t ever get married.
Big 3: I’m in love with women. Not one, but many. She wants me to be just in love with her, but she cannot change me. She knows I am this way, but will refuse to leave me. She hates me and she loves me equally. I can only show love for her, but she cannot understand how I can love so many. I must just hate her.
Big 4: I love her. I want marriage, but not now. I want children, but not now. I want to divert my energy from my career to my future wife, but it’s not time yet. I don’t want, think or flirt with the idea of another, but she tells me that can’t be because I am a man. I believe we live slow, beautiful lives, but we are moving too fast now for that to be. I love her and will marry her, but just not now, therefore I don’t really love her enough.
The truth is all of those versions of “Big” have a lot of truth in how these girls, maybe even women, see us. It’s their projections of how they want us to be so their insecurities, fears and emotions remain unhinged by the reality of a real guy in the world. You see, the television show ended with Carrie quietly winning over Big over the course of many years, therefore never having to doubt that he may still have been one of those guys mentioned above that will do nothing more than break her heart. It’s that fairy tail many girls want to live.
It’s the tail that beauty can control the beast, with one major difference in the stories. Beauty never changed who the Beast was, she just unveiled the real him. Carrie did end up changing Big, which only will lead to one thing … the return of the real Big.
I said above that I had two choices: 1) Either be her “Big” and let her ride out the fantasy, or 2) Convince her I am not “Big”, but I’m better than him and I’m real. I chose number 2 and that eventually led to the end, but she still does contact me. Why? Because this “Kind of Crazy” is the fairy tale kind who will forever see her life as the greatest drama ever told in story. Your choice is whether you can handle the crazy of a fictional tale for the sake of love or show her that non-fiction is a much better story because it hasn’t been written yet.
Background Check: Mini-Carrie Bradshaw also ended up being a fan of another great work of art, Grey’s Anatomy. Drama knows drama.
Do you have a “That’s Kind of Crazy” you want to share? Spill it and we’ll tell it.
The Unsung Romantic
Tags: dating advice show, miss singlefied, uvidy