You go on date after date and they never develop into anything. Why is that? Are you feeling fatigued by dating? Do you feel like you’re having the same “date talk” over and over again like a job interview? That’s probably because you’re not actually CONNECTING. What is a connection and how to you connect on a date? Miss Singlefied will tell you how.
ALSO: JOIN ME FOR MY NEXT LIVE STREAM ANSWERING ALL YOUR DATING QUESTIONS STARTING 9/27, 7pm PDT/ 10pm EDT (Download the LiveMe app or follow this link, Username: Nonplatonic)
Yes you read that correct. I went to my very first sex party organized by the Organ House and recorded the whole experience. Audio that is. Confession: I’ve been to a sex club before so I knew this wouldn’t be SHOCKING, but what made this different was that I would know some of the people there. And that’s just…awkward. My friends and I went with an open mind and I think you should hear about our experience for yourself, but here are some of my major learnings:
Most first timers don’t end up having sex with anyone. But the cheese and music are orgasmic.
Many couples go as a form of couples therapy. As one couple said at the party, “We’re here to figure out where we want to take over relationship.”
Radical consent is contagious! The first time I experienced this was a woman at the party asked if she could give me a hug. It made me pause and think about every time I should give consent or ask for consent about something I take for granted.
Give it a good listen and I’d love to hear about your first experiences at a sex/play party.
Here are some pics of the communal apparatuses found throughout the sex party:
I recently learned of some sad news about a guy friend of mine whom I lost touch with. I want to give a quick shout out to Weave for reaching out to me despite having to deliver some tragic news. I learned that my friend had passed away due to a battle with drugs but it also goes deeper than that. He’s someone who was battling some mental demons while we were close friends and I failed to see all of the signs. And this leads me to a pretty serious topic that I want to discuss. I do think men have it harder in dating, and in hard times, because we as a society have failed you. The root of the issue is mental health and I invite more people to talk about their experiences with their mental health issues…
You read that right. The online dating market is saturated and it’s only natural that we’ll process to the next step. Could that be virtual reality? Believe it or not, many VR platforms are starting to build out their social VR technology. Alongside haptic technology, these social VR prototypes will enable people to interact with each other in a virtual world. You can feel a hug. You can feel a pinch. You can either feel penetration. Yup, VR sex is exploding! (pun intended)
So…that’s where I come in. As the host of the Dateable Podcast, my team and I have assembled an amazing panel for South by Southwest next year called “The Future of Online Dating with VR.” Panelists include Amanda Bradford, Founder of The League dating app who has already experimented with VR dating and is in talks of building out the platform for her app. In the anti-VR camp, we have David Cruz, former matchmaker on the Millionaire Matchmaker with Patti Stanger! He believes that NOTHING can replace IRL connections. And last but not least, we have an expert “dater,” Matteson Perry, who documented his year-long dating journey to find his now wife in the book, “Available: A Memoir of Heartbreak, Hookups, Love and Brunch.” The panel will be moderated by yours truly, Miss Singlefied.
To get us to SXSW, we need YOUR vote, which counts for 30% of the final decision. Click here to upvote. I’d soooo greatly appreciate it!
And while you’re at it, here are a few more unrelated panels that may be of interest to your tech-savvy folks:
Hi daters! While I will still keep this blog active, I think you may want to check out my newest dating venture – the Date/able Podcast! And you guessed it, it’s a show all about modern dating. On each episode, my co-host and I dissect a dating story. Some of bizarre, some are inspirational, and some are down right shocking. Either way, you’ll learn something each time and be glad to know you’re not in this alone!
http://www.Singlefied.com – DATING ADVICE: She acts like your girlfriend but claims she isn’t. Why? (DATING ADVICE FOR GUYS)
She holds your hand, is affectionate, and introduces you to all her friends. She certainly acts like your girlfriend, but claims she’s not! Why is she acting that way? Is she leading you on? Miss Singlefied let’s you know what’s up.
Dating can get really confusing when you don’t establish what your relationship is. It sounds silly, why does love and affection need to be verbally established? Well, that’s how you establish boundaries and standards. Without communicating these, it is easy for two people not be on the same page. And when two people are not on the same page, one person is bound to get hurt. Think about it, if there were no rules in sports, then people would able to do all sorts of things to win a game. But it’s only when these rules are established, then people know what is within boundaries. The same goes for relationships. What may be OK to one person may not be OK to the other. Remember, in the grand scheme of things, the person you’re hanging out with is barely a stranger. She hasn’t known you all your life. So how do you expect that you’ll both be on the same page with the same thoughts and ideas of what is good for a relationship. Before you start accusing someone of leading you on or sending you mixed messages, Miss Singlefied in this video shows you what you have the right to feel. You may just rethink your relationships!
Ask your dating questions at: http://www.Singlefied.com or tweet @SinglefiedYue. Yue Xu, aka Miss Singlefied, is an established dating coach for men from NYC, LA and Beijing. She is the founder and advocate of the SoberFirstKiss movement. #soberfirstkiss
Hi daters! While I will still keep this blog active, I think you may want to check out my newest dating venture – the 
SINGLEFIED 