Posts Tagged ‘celeb breakups’

I don’t know about you but I get tingles down under whenever I see pictures of Mila Kunis.  If there’s such a thing as a “female boner”, I would have one if I ever see her in person.  I find her to be the ultimate Librarian-Stripper with her innocent face juxtaposed with a hot womanly figure.  She also is the perfect combo of “cute” and “sexy” – the type you’d like to fuck and then take her home to mom.

So, it’s about time that Mila Kunis dumps albino Macaulay Culkin, a 7-year-relationship that the public barely knew anything about.  Then I thought to myself, “How the hell did Home Alone get such a hottie anyway?”  Ahhh, the classic case of a guy dating outside his league:

Boy meets girl.  Boy is dorky.  Girl is going through her awkward years but still pretty.  Boy and girl date.  Boy fucks girl.  Boy realizes girl is way hot.  Boy high-fives his cock.  Girl grows out of awkward stage.  Girl discovers makeup, salons and tight dresses.  Girl gets confirmation from construction workers that she’s hot.  Boy and girl hear comments like, “How did he get her?” while walking down the street together.  Girl realizes she IS hot.  Girl realizes she is hotter than boy.  Girl dumps boy.  Boy angry and thinks he could date someone hotter than her.  Yeah. Right.

At the end of the day, everybody knows who’s in their league and who is not.  Some of you will get lucky and catch a girl at the beginning of her hotness.  But, a hot girl will always eventually discover her hotness.  Why?  Our society hands out accolades to good looking people.  We treat them differently, we tell them they’re pretty, we fight over them.

The lesson learned here is: you’ll know when you date out of your league.  Cherish the time you have together because she will eventually dump your ass.