Ask Miss Singlefied: What’s the difference between love and infatuation?

Dating in China = LBH + horny local + twinsies

Dating in China changes faster than these half-assed skyscrapers that get built.  This time around, I’m learning more about the deceasing stock of foreigners (white guys), how local girls are getting smarter, and why Confucius won’t let Chinese guys go for white girls.  I was told that if you get offended, I’m doing my job right.   Here’s a podcast I was invited to do by the Economic Observer all about dating in china.

Miss Singlefied Featured in The Global Times

Some might be born experts in the art of seduction, while others need a bit of help. This is where dating coach Xu Yue comes in handy.

The Beijing native started offering dating advice in New York City two years ago, and since then has seen her career rise. She now coaches men face-to-face or online around the world, with a focus on Beijing and New York.

“I don’t think romance can be taught… [read more here]

A Teched-Out Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day guys!  Yay, another day reminding you that you’re single whether you like it or not.  I am currently in Beijing working on a couple dating-related (and some just for fun) projects.  The dating scene here is borderline absurd where men outnumber women 3:1 but expats know China to be a notorious easy lay.  Who knew such a conservative culture on the outside would hide so much promiscuity underneath.  Trust me, I could write a whole book on it (and I will).  And if you’re a guy not getting enough ass in the US, you should come to China.  But don’t expect “Me love you long time.”  It’ll be more like, “Me love you tonight or until I find out you’re dirt ass poor.”

OK, back to Valentine’s Day.  The topic of dating has become the most popular thing in China with hundreds of dating shows, matchmaking services, and online dating sites popping up by the second.  In the past, people traditionally met by being introduced by family or co-workers.  Now, young Chinese adults have taken on more non-traditional approaches to dating.  One of which is through the most downloaded app in China called Weixin, available for Android and Apple.

This free app is available in English and Chinese and after downloading it for only 2 days, I’ve already decided that it is perfect for the single and bored.  So the basic functions are:

• SMS anyone in your phonebook without using up your text message allowance
• Send instant audio messages (way better than voicemail)
• Send bulk messages
• Search for friends
• Find people within a 1000m radius through an advanced geo-location service

But here’s some of the kinky stuff you can do:

• Strike up a conversation with any of the strangers you find through the geo-location search.  Everyone has a profile pic and a brief intro so you can weed out the uglies.
• The “Shake” (摇一摇）function asks you to shake your phone and if other people (strangers or friends) happen to shake their phone at the same time, you’re instantly connected and can initiate a conversation with each other.  I was at a dinner where someone told me that her brother in Australia found his current girlfriend through this function.  Apparently, Weixin has reached more than 100 million shakes a day, meaning over 100 million strangers are connecting daily.
• My favorite is the “Drift Bottle” function, which can be really quirky and naughty.  You have two selections: 1) You write/record a message and “throw” it out into the cybersea, or 2) You pick up a random message and respond to the stranger if you choose to.  It may seem innocent enough but last night while using this function, I thought I was in the middle of some weird cyber porno.  I “threw” out the audio message “I love cake!” and got several replies along the lines of “Is it as yummy as you?” “I’ll eat it if it’s on you,” and the most forward, “I want to eat you.”  Now I’m dating all 3 guys.  (haha, j/k)

So there are 50 million Weixin users with the majority being between 22-30.  It helps if you know Chinese but many of the users are non-Chinese and/or know English.  But that may also be because I’m using it in China.  How about you guys try it in the states and tell me who you find?

And just a word of caution from my friend PK: people always look better as a thumbnail.  Make sure you ask for more pics before you meet up with these randos.

If you want to find more dating apps, check out Apps Magazine: The Best dating Apps

 

Your Mom, Your Matchmaker? Eww.

The last time I was in Beijing, I blogged about parks where parents displayed hand-written advertisements of their single children in hopes of finding worthy suitors strolling through the park.  The parents highly pushed their children’s credentials and material achievements (degrees, salary, homeownership, car ownership were the main things).  Can you imagine getting a phone call from some chick who’s like, “Hey, I met your mom at a park and got your number from her.  So I hear you drive a Mercedes…”

As if that isn’t embarrassing enough, my friend Trina told me that at her parent’s church, they have Show-n-Tell Fridays where any parents with aging single children can get up in front of the group to pimp then out.  After they verbalize their child’s resume, interested parents in the audience can approach the presenters to discuss possible matchmaking of their children.   I wonder how a parent would reject another parent’s child.  “Um, I really feel like my Suzy would not fuck your Andy.  Sorry.”

And now they’re bringing all this nonesense onto the world wide web.  Geri, an overly-anxious NYC mom wanted to find a wife for her 31-year-old son (both pictured above), so she started a site called DateMySingleKid.com.   Then recently, a pair of Jewish siblings started a website called TheJMom.com that allows Jewish moms to set up their single Jewish kids.

OK.  I’m all for people playing matchmaker, and sometimes it’s nice to have a friend’s referral.   But, a friend is totally different than your mom.  If I can’t even trust my mom to pick out clothes for me, why would I think she’d be good at finding me a mate.  And frankly, my mom’s taste is so predictable that before meeting the guy, I’d already know he’d be some sort of engineer who looks “clean, stable and obedient.”  Like all moms, she’d want to bring me a Golden Retriever when what I really want is a Pitbull.  No thanks, mom.