Ask Miss Singlefied: What to do if you forget a girl’s name after meeting her?

Analyzing the Moves of a True Pick-Up Artist: Derren Brown, Mind Controller

We can’t all have the powers of mentalist, illusionist and con-artist Derren Brown, but I still found this analysis of his interaction with 3 hot models an interesting video to watch.  It’s about reading a woman’s body language, feeding off of her, and responding to her with your own body language.  Basically, being attentive to a woman in a conversation is a lot more powerful than you think.


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Reading is Fuckdamental: Bookstore Pick-Ups

Written by: Dick Lambert

Telling you to get a job at a strip club is a little like putting the cart before the horse. Hopefully my three part on dating a stripper both horrified and tempted you. Let me provide an alternative that provides the hot lusty kink of dating a stripper without the usual radioactive fallout out.

Work at a bookstore! If you can’t make the career move, then date a girl who works as a bookseller! The very least, pick up a girl at the bookstore.

Working at a bookstore gives you amazing access to a bevy of beautiful women who occasionally frequent a bookstore. You may also score a co-worker. Female booksellers are amazing; they are the embodiment of a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. You also get the add-on bonus of pulling any tail from other retail businesses around you.

When I worked at a bookstore, I had the deep pleasure of having one of my co-workers. Her name was Dawn, and yes I am using her real name because if she happens to read this, I’d like another fuckfest with her. So please Dawn, forward your current contact info so you can be Dagny Taggart and I will be Hank again.

Dawn was a beautiful red head with pale skin that desired the warmth of a man.  Smart, hard working full time employee at the book store and pursuing her Masters degree. The best part of Dawn was she was this super smart, sexy, intelligent woman who played every game from a position of power, because she had come to terms with pursuing her ambitions “in a man’s world” and staying true to her feminine side all to get what she wanted.

Dawn and I would always in the back room flirting and ass grabbing each other. She had a boyfriend and I had a girlfriend that I was trying to remain loyal to. A woman who wants what she wants when she wants is very sexy. One day, dawn pushed me into the bathroom, got on her knees, pulled out my dick and sucked me off like it was life-sustaining magic cum. I had been blown before but this was some lustful hunger for dick that I had never experienced. She was egging me on, asking me with her mouth full of cock what my girlfriend’s name was. I couldn’t recall at that very moment. She made those happy, hungry sounds as if she couldn’t get enough. She placed my hands on her ponytail and encouraged me to fuck her mouth with complete abandon.  I came long and hard in her mouth, and just a little cum gets on her glasses (of course she wore black rimmed glasses), which to this day is an image that I access often in my porn bank.

If you want to do a bookstore pick-up, go at night because bookstore dating occurs then, so it leads to dinner, drinks, and sex. If you go in the day, you end up with coffee or worse, some stupid thing called brunch. Make sure you have 2-3 books in hand but avoid deal breaking titles like 1001 Fart Jokes. Pick only one customer or employee to hit on for this trip. Avoid all women in the Diet or Self Help sections; ladies with a lot of baggage are to be avoided. You want a woman who is confident and together.

Who knew reading could be so fun!

Picking Up Girls w/o Really Trying

I know I like to give you guys some proactive pick-up strategies such as the Creeper Sweeper and Toast ‘n’ Bolt.  Mystery, the pick-up artist even takes it one step further and tells you to do magic tricks and shit to break the ice.  Well boys, there are less involved ways, such as paying attention to what you wear.  This past weekend was the prime example of that.

Thursday: I notice a guy wearing a Power Balance wristband on the subway (I have one too) and I ask if it’s helping him surf the train.  We have a solid 5-minute convo debating the “science” behind using holograms to improve balance and agility.  I get to my stop before he could finish his argument, so he asks for my number.  Smooth.

Friday: Spotted.  A guy wearing a UT-Austin t-shirt, my friend Lisa’s alma mater.  She approaches him to ask what year he graduated.  Turns out they’re 6 years apart, no over-lapping friends or classes, but lived in the same apartment complex (just not at the same time).  He gets her a drink and she goes home with him.  Fist bump explosion.

Saturday: Starbucks catch-up sesh with one of my clients.  He’s sporting a vintage Laker’s hat, which I mistakened for a gross, dirty hat.  While ordering his coffee, hot girl taps him on the shoulder and asks if he’s from LA.  She is and her dad collects vintage Laker hats.  They have a giggle about how much New Yorker’s don’t like LA’ers.  They exchange business cards.  He puts cream in her coffee.  I charge him double for the session (dating advice AND picked up a chick).

Sunday: Brunch with the girls.  Next to us, a bro-brunch.  My friend Dana discovers one of the guys is wearing Silly Bandz .  Kinda gay but she has her’s on too.  She yells out, “Hey, what you got over there?”  He responds, “Cars!”  Next thing you know, it’s a coed brunch for 8.

No, I’m not trying to tell you that the next time you go out, get decked out in silly bandz, balance bracelets, sports team hats and college shirts.  But, next time you’re out, make a conscious decision to wear something that’s a statement about your interests.  Not only does it give you character, it helps to break the ice.  And if you’re feeling more aggressive, keep your eye out for something a girl’s wearing that could interest you, and use it as a conversation starter.  However, let’s keep it classy.  “Hey I noticed your thong peeking out of your jeans is from the 2011 Victoria Secret’s Very Sexy collection” won’t break the ice, but she might break your nose.

Inner vs. Outer Swagger

I’m doing my usual “research” at a bar and in walks a group of guys.  One of them is clearly the leader of the pack, confidently walks in first, first bumps the bartender, greets the room with a teethy smile, and leads his group to a table in the middle of the bar.  This guy is an attention-getter and it is obvious that everybody in the bar notices him.  I’m intrigued by this guy’s outer swagger and commit to observing him for the time being.

Then, in walks, as part of the group, guy #2, who immediately steals my attention away.  My girlfriends, sitting next to me, are staring at him intensely.  “Who is that?” I hear one of them ask.   This man is not particularly that attractive, not dressed in any special fashion, but there is something about him.  He quietly but confidently walks in, gives a subtle nod to the bartender, finds his friends and sits down.  All in slow motion it seems.  He’s intently listening to guy #1 loudly re-telling a story about some whiny bitch he had dumped.  Guy #1 has just become a showy douche and guy #2’s inner swagger has stolen the show.

Outer swagger is easy to achieve because it’s like putting on a show.  You dress the part, walk the walk, talk the talk, and there you go, you’ve just accomplished outer swagger.    This guy is like the lead singer in a band.  He’s the “face” of the group, the outgoing, social, and most (perceived) talented one.  He thrives on attention and needs screaming girls throwing panties at him to reaffirm his confidence.  Girls like him because he’s very noticeable, but we all know he’s a douche because he sleeps with all the groupies and brags about it.  I bet he has a small penis and is overcompensating.  And I bet he can’t be alone.  Ever.

However, nobody gets more ass than the drummer, the definition of “inner swagger.”  Sure, he’s usually tucked away in the dark corner, and you don’t even notice him until the leader singer verbally announces him.  But once girls find him, we can’t keep our eyes off of him.  He’s really into his drums and is passionate about playing them.  He doesn’t need the lights and the abundance of attention, he just likes doing what he enjoys doing.  He doesn’t feel the need to brag or show off, because he is so confident being who he is without the bells and whistles.  I bet he has a huge cock.  And I bet enjoys being alone.  Better yet, he probably lives alone.  Extra points for him.

When I think of a man with inner swagger, the best example is John Cusack.  I’ve been obsessed with John Cusack since “Say Anything” and whenever I tell guys my celeb crush, the first reaction is always, “Really?!  Him?!”  Yup, John Cusack. No, he’s not that hot and he dresses like a bum, but that man is so confident just being who he is, he never has to prove himself to anybody.  Actually, he doesn’t give a fuck what other people think of him.  He’s never tried to live up to this celebrity status or is TMI about his personal life to woo the public.  What you see is what you get, and that inner swagger is a panty dropper.

So when you’re headed out this weekend, ask yourself if you’d rather be the lead singer, or the drummer?

Breaking the Ice: The Creeper Sweeper

Every time girls go out, it’s inevitable that we’re approached by a creeper.  Sucks for us but awesome for you!  Why?  Everything is relative, so if you immediately talk to a girl after she has been creeper attacked, by comparison, you’ll seem 10x more normal and desirable.  And if you’re the one to get rid of the dude, you’ll come off as the hero.  Here’s how The Creeper Sweeper works:

1) Spot or plant The Creeper. He’s usually alone and creating quite a stir with a girl or group of girls.  You can tell by the disgusted looks on the girls’ faces.  He may be saying stuff such as, “Where you girls going after this?  How ’bout in my pants?” or “Who loves butt sex?  Raise you hand!”  He may also be the silent creeper; the guy with a staring problem who hovers around girls making them incredibly uncomfortable.

2) Follow The Creeper until he reaches your target. The good thing about him is that he makes his rounds.  It is without a doubt he’ll end up bugging the girl you’re digging.

3) Let The Creeper do his thing. ALWAYS let him be creepy first and perform his one-man-play, “I Use Lines from Pornos in Real Life.”  Sometimes girls mistaken his first act as a funny, party guy who may be really drunk.  By his 2nd act, he’ll have offended someone.  And during his last act, one of the girls will try to shoo him away unsuccessfully…because The Creeper is also a lingerer.

4) Sweep The Creeper. As soon as he performs his last act, go in there and save the day.  If it looks like he gets the point and is leaving, go approach the group immediately.  Now, if it looks like he’s still lingering, gently escort him away.  Don’t fight with him, because he’ll be belligerent.  Once he’s gone, make up some shit like, “I see this guy here every week, I’m sorry you girls had to deal with him.  I thought you were going to slap him! [point to hottest girl in the group]”  Perfect ice breaker.

All of a sudden, you just became the most attractive guy in the room!  Fuck yeah.

If this technique is too involved and if you’re ballsy enough, take my Toast and Bolt challenge instead.

Hit the Jackpot; Do Yoga

To find girls, you have to go where they are.  Sure, they’re at sports bars and coffee shops, but think smarter.  Go somewhere with an abundance of girls and a scarcity of guys.  Two things pop in mind for me: dance and yoga.  Since you actually need some basic techniques for dance, your easier option would be yoga.  Here are some reasons why you should give yoga class a try:

– The girl-guy ratio is typically 10000000000:1

– Limber girls

– Limber girls in tight clothing

– Limber girls in tight clothing sticking their ass in your face

– It promotes friendly interactions, so it’s much easier to start up a convo with the chick next to you

– LeBron James swears by it

– It’ll improve your sex life

– It’s a humbling experience (because it’s a lot harder than you think)

Some of you have voiced your concern for flatulence in yoga class.  I once had a girl fart on my face while in child’s pose.  Not cute.  But there are somethings you can do before class.  When you’re alone, put yourself in child’s pose for about 2 minutes and let it all out.  Another pose you should be careful of is the “Happy Baby.”  If you’re instructed to go into Happy Baby and you’re farty, opt out of it and just lie on your back. 

Some of you are concerned about looking like a fool.  You will look like a fool because yoga is meant to challenge you beyond your comfort zone.  Here’s a secret: girls don’t expect guys to be good but we want you in class, because it makes us want to work harder.

The last thing I would say is try to start off next to an inexperienced chick and move your way up to the best chick in class.  You can bond with an inexperienced yogi when you struggle through poses together.  How do you spot a rookie?  She’s usually in the back of class and doesn’t have her own yoga mat (so she uses the ones provided).  When you get better with your practice, challenge yourself by going next to a veteran yogi.  If you see her do a pose you’ve struggled with, ask her how she got there when the class is over.

I’m telling you, yoga is the best kept secret for picking up girls.  Go check it out before other guys find out!