Ask Miss Singlefied: 10 ways to tell she’s interested. The non-generic list!

That Kind of Crazy (Women) – “You’re So Like My Big” (Episode Four)

Written By: The Unsung Romantic

Her Codename: Mini-Carrie Bradshaw

Category: Fairy Tales

I know what you might be thinking. Any time that a girl uses the word “big” and associates it with a man, the first thought is that she must truly be referring to the size of our penis. What else could it be? On the other hand, there is the dreaded “big teddy bear,” which in lies the problem that you are nothing more than a cuddly, wuddly safe friend who in our male psyche we do not always grasp and still believe that even a teddy bear can get laid. The truth is that when this mujer stated the words to me, “You’re so like my big …”, she was referring to the television bible for women of the last decade – Sex and the City (SATC). 

My reactionary internal monologue – “%^&$! that god damn whore of a show and the incurable STD it gave this city.”

Yes, I know who Mr.  Big  is in that dreaded show.  Just like all good soldiers I was dutiful and watched this crap over the course of its never ending run through the scores of SATC influenced girls I dated. Not only was I dutiful, but three steps ahead of the game on female counter intelligence operations. I usually save this for the end, but here is a quick piece of advice: Watch the show, plus the two movies. On top of that, make sure every time you are at the doctor’s office or at any location where females are the primary customer, read Cosmo. Do you think I am crazy? I am not fucking joking around with this. Cosmo, was the old SATC and in a strange universe, they’re  both one in the same. The array of misinformed, subjective and irrational advice given in that monthly rag, coupled with a decade of Carrie Bradshaw and her inconceivable escapades have transformed the landscape of rational (if there ever was such a thing) expectations women (girls) expect of men (not boys).

Look, we can get into a whole debate about how that show empowered women across the country (especially carpetbagging transients who moved here from middle-America in search for the glamorous city life,), but this kind of crazy manifestation of a new breed of women has nothing to do with the show being a top-notch production. It was, I tip my cap to that. It’s about the drowning effect it had on millions of women who are between the ages of 25-40 in present day. It created a false sense of reality. It made all of us fellas into living, breathing embodiments of all the male characters in that show. It made us men to be fictional beings. And for an unknown percentage of the women who watched the show, it turned them back into little girls in search of the great knight on his white horse. I’ve dated a lot of these women retarded into girls, but it was this one particular Big incident that made me realize I had two choices: 1) Either be her “Big” and let her ride out the fantasy, or 2) Convince her I am not “Big”, but I’m better than him and I’m real.

So yes, I know very well who Big is, but I still  have no idea what that fucking means to this day. Do you? Maybe you can help out on this one. Here are my quick  theories on what the incarnations of real world “Bigs” are:

Big 1: I’m a perpetual commitment-phobe. When the kitchen gets to hot, I toss her a fire extinguisher and dash for the nearest fire escape. I’m never around when she needs him. I’m sensitive to her cries at night, but only from a phone call or text away – never in person. I just don’t want anyone controlling my life. I am not cheater, but I need eternal autonomy and distance when I please.

Big 2: Charming. Dashing. Loving. Shares all my adventures with her. Make her feel as if she is the only girl in the world. Tell her she’s the most perfect thing he has ever met in my life, but … I won’t ever get married.

Big 3: I’m in love with women. Not one, but many. She wants me to be just in love with her, but she cannot change me. She knows I am this way, but will refuse to leave me. She hates me and she loves me equally. I can only show love for her, but she cannot understand how I can love so many. I must just hate her.

Big 4: I love her. I want marriage, but not now. I want children, but not now. I want to divert my energy from my career to my future wife, but it’s not time yet. I don’t want, think or flirt with the idea of another, but she tells me that can’t be because I am a man. I believe we live slow, beautiful lives, but we are moving too fast now for that to be. I love her and will marry her, but just not now, therefore I don’t really love her enough.

The truth is all of those versions of “Big” have a lot of truth in how these girls, maybe even women, see us. It’s their projections of how they want us to be so their insecurities, fears and emotions remain unhinged by the reality of a real guy in the world. You see, the television show ended with Carrie quietly winning over Big over the course of many years, therefore never having to doubt that he may still have been one of those guys mentioned above that will do nothing more than break her heart. It’s that fairy tail many girls want to live.

It’s the tail that beauty can control the beast, with one major difference in the stories. Beauty never changed who the Beast was, she just unveiled the real him. Carrie did end up changing Big, which only will lead to one thing … the return of the real Big.

I said above that I had two choices: 1) Either be her “Big” and let her ride out the fantasy, or 2) Convince her I am not “Big”, but I’m better than him and I’m real. I chose number 2 and that eventually led to the end, but she still does contact me. Why? Because this “Kind of Crazy” is the fairy tale kind who will forever see her life as the greatest drama ever told in story. Your choice is whether you can handle the crazy of a fictional tale for the sake of love or show her that non-fiction is a much better story because it hasn’t been written yet.

Background Check: Mini-Carrie Bradshaw also ended up being a fan of another great work of art, Grey’s Anatomy. Drama knows drama.

Do you have a “That’s Kind of Crazy” you want to share? Spill it and we’ll tell it.

Cheers,

The Unsung Romantic

He’s right, every dude should study up on Sex and the City to know what kind of bullshit they’re feeding women these days

An Inside, Uncensored Look at Miss Singlefied

I was recently interviewed and profiled by JackFroot.com.  I promised I wouldn’t hold anything back.  And I didn’t…

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Up Close and Personal with Miss Singlefied

STAN KARR YEUNG
If Will Smith’s character from the 2005 movie Hitch were a real person, he would be a she, and she would be Chinese and hot. Everything else is pretty much the same, minus the story line and plot, actually only the part where Hitch helps guys with dating advice is the same.

Read the rest here

How To Get The Girl | IGNORE and SCORE: Dating Mindsets Explained – How To Attract And Date Beautiful Women

SURVEY: What do you look for in a potential mate? (And how are men and women different)

Thanks to my buddy Chuckdizzle, I was inspired to take on a little dating research project about what we consider important in a mate.  The main goal is to see if there are any major differences between what men and women look for.  So, if you could take 5 minutes and complete the survey, I will slow-mo-run-hug you if I ever meet you in person.  Results will be posted in 2-3 weeks!

Click here to take survey

HOW TO: Do simple dance moves on the dance floor (Singlefied.com & Sparkology.com)

You Got Served – Take It to the Streets (Dance Instructional)

Win a Chivas Tasting Event at the Exclusive 1801 Club (Courtesy of Sparkology)

Our friends at Sparkology have given Singlefied readers a chance to win a pair of coveted passes to their Chivas tasting event.  Event details:

• 11/8/11
• Premier access to the 1801 Club (foosball table, poker room)
• Open cocktail hour complimented by hors d’oeurves
• Formal tasting led by trained Chivas brand ambassadors trained in Scotland
• Hot hostesses (my fave)
• And more

To enter, please describe your idea of a perfect date under $100, using 400 words or less.  A panel of hot girls from Singlefied will announce the winner by Saturday, 11/5.  Please use form below.

Here are rules:

• Contest open from noon 11/1 – noon 11/4 EST
  
• This is an all male event; winner’s guest must be male
• The suggested date must be realistic and can be done today…with humans.  The $100 budget is set to eliminate “fly to the moon” and “karaoke with Justin Bieber” type of scenarios.
• Multiple entries per person allowed

Alright boys, let’s see what you come up with.  Make me proud!

Name(required)

Email(required)

Website

Your idea of a perfect date under $100. (400 word limit)(required)

Submit

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How to Dance: 4 Common Mistakes (Presented by Singleifed and Sparkology)

You don’t have to be twinkle toes on the dance floor to impress the ladies, but you might want to avoid being “that guy.” Singlefied and Sparkology will bringing you a series of videos upping your game on the dance floor. Video #1: 4 Common Mistakes. And don’t forget, Miss Singlefied gives private social dance lessons that can be done either in person (NY & LA) or via Skype. Miss Singlefied will also have a live show via Uvidy soon, so stay tuned!

The new MacBook Air, on sale for under $1000 at Amazon.com .

 

YOU’RE INVITED: Sparkology Pre-Launch Event

Our friends at Sparkology.com have invited Singlefied readers to an exclusive pre-launch party in NYC on 10/22.  All the details below.  I think this is such a great idea and also an awesome chance for you guys to get a great profile picture while sippin’ on some gin and juice.

Sparkology Pre-Launch Party and Photo Event

10/22

1-4pm

The MiMa, MC Level, 450 West 42nd, bw 9 and 10th Ave

*YOU MUST RSVP TO GET IN*

MESSAGE FROM HOST

It’s official: You, our inaugural members and guests, are invited to join us for our launch mixer and photo session this Saturday.

The most important part of your image is your photo: Hannah Palmer Egan and Olivia Hall of Caras TriBeCa, a downtown beauty and photo studio, will take professional headshot and full-body photos that you can keep

Make-up by Melissa DiScala featuring MAC products will help you look your best

Vodka and mixed drinks provided by our sponsor Voli, the world’s first low calorie vodka

Plenty of wine and champagne to get you camera-ready

Beer provided by our sponsor Blue State Beer

Delicious catered hors d’oeuvres

Photos will be taken in natural light on the Terrace.  Please arrive early to ensure you get time with photographer
Best of all: kick back and relax with other ladies and gentlemen of Sparkology.  To join the invite-only community, use Singlefied’s private code.

***Guests are welcome but RSVP is required.  Please email: events@sparkology.com and mention you were referred by Singlefied.  This is a premier venue – if you aren’t on the list, you aren’t getting in.***

Please dress ready for the camera.

Check out “Sex Diaries” in New York Magazine, real life sex stories from New Yorkers.

Ask Miss Singlefied: Can you trust a former cheater?

 

 

Check out “Sex Diaries” in New York Magazine, real life sex stories from New Yorkers.

Paying for Dates: Revisiting the 60/40

Paying for dates has always been a hot topic for debate.  Should the guy always pick up the tab?  Should you ditch a girl who never pays for anything?  Is going dutch totally taboo?

A couple months back, I wrote about the 60/40– guys paying for the bigger things (dinners, tickets), and girls paying for the smaller things (coffee, cab rides).  Alex Furmansky, the founder of Sparkology.com, added even more wisdom into the post.  So check out the new and improved version:

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I always get the question of who should pay for dinner on dates.  From what I’ve seen and heard, the 60/40 split is what usually works best.  This means that the guy covers the “bigger” purchases (dinners, show tickets) and the girl pays for the “smaller” purchases (cab rides, tip).

The 60/40 split addresses many of the problems found in the traditional 100/0 split or the modern 50/50 by offering the right balance of tradition and gender equality:

Problems with 100/0

Reduces value of the woman; supports outdated notion of subordination
May make woman feel like…[Read the rest of the post here]

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And if you haven’t gotten your secret code to test out Sparkology.com for free, be sure to get it from me!

The new MacBook Air, on sale for under $1000 at Amazon.com .