When and How to Use Compliments

Compliments can go a long way but some guys just don’t know when and how to use them.  Here are some simple guidelines:

1) When picking up a girl, don’t use looks-based compliments.  In a pick-up situation, a girl may be fed line after line.  In this environment, a girl has come to expect guys to tell her that she’s good looking.  The best approach in this scenario is not to compliment her looks (like every other guy), rather compliment her personality or anything else that catches your eye.  Maybe she has a tattoo, cool shoes, or an antique watch.  You want to let her know that besides her good looks – I mean, that’s why you’re talking to her in the first place – you’ve noticed something that the other clueless dudes haven’t.  Don’t overdo the compliments though, then it just looks like you’re desperate.

2) When on a date, start off with looks-based compliments.  I find that many guys make the mistake of not complimenting a girl’s looks when on a date with her.  I often hear, “Well, she already knows she’s hot, that’s why I asked her out.” Being on a date is a very different situation than a pick-up scenario!  Boys, we know how you like to be recognized when you do something nice for us, like killing a spider, changing a light bulb, or hooking up our new Wii U.  We want the same recognition when we do something nice for you, such as dressing up and looking nice for our date.  Start the date complimenting how great she looks, it’ll set a great tone for the rest of the night.

3) Compliment others in front of her.  Showing appreciation for others is a quality women highly value.  I can’t count how many times a girl was turned off by a guy for being rude to the waiter or mean to the bartender.  If you’re trying to impress her, make a point to compliment good service, good food, good drinks, or simply a good time.  If the bartender makes extra strong drinks, tell her “this is just the way I like it,” then leave her a nice tip.  If the waiter has been extra attentive, a simple “you’ve been great” will not only leave him feeling good, but your date as well.  Not to mention, you might get some free perks as a result.

Remember, compliments can go a long way when used properly.  And I gotta say, that shirt looks great on you.

Picking Up Girls w/o Really Trying

I know I like to give you guys some proactive pick-up strategies such as the Creeper Sweeper and Toast ‘n’ Bolt.  Mystery, the pick-up artist even takes it one step further and tells you to do magic tricks and shit to break the ice.  Well boys, there are less involved ways, such as paying attention to what you wear.  This past weekend was the prime example of that.

Thursday: I notice a guy wearing a Power Balance wristband on the subway (I have one too) and I ask if it’s helping him surf the train.  We have a solid 5-minute convo debating the “science” behind using holograms to improve balance and agility.  I get to my stop before he could finish his argument, so he asks for my number.  Smooth.

Friday: Spotted.  A guy wearing a UT-Austin t-shirt, my friend Lisa’s alma mater.  She approaches him to ask what year he graduated.  Turns out they’re 6 years apart, no over-lapping friends or classes, but lived in the same apartment complex (just not at the same time).  He gets her a drink and she goes home with him.  Fist bump explosion.

Saturday: Starbucks catch-up sesh with one of my clients.  He’s sporting a vintage Laker’s hat, which I mistakened for a gross, dirty hat.  While ordering his coffee, hot girl taps him on the shoulder and asks if he’s from LA.  She is and her dad collects vintage Laker hats.  They have a giggle about how much New Yorker’s don’t like LA’ers.  They exchange business cards.  He puts cream in her coffee.  I charge him double for the session (dating advice AND picked up a chick).

Sunday: Brunch with the girls.  Next to us, a bro-brunch.  My friend Dana discovers one of the guys is wearing Silly Bandz .  Kinda gay but she has her’s on too.  She yells out, “Hey, what you got over there?”  He responds, “Cars!”  Next thing you know, it’s a coed brunch for 8.

No, I’m not trying to tell you that the next time you go out, get decked out in silly bandz, balance bracelets, sports team hats and college shirts.  But, next time you’re out, make a conscious decision to wear something that’s a statement about your interests.  Not only does it give you character, it helps to break the ice.  And if you’re feeling more aggressive, keep your eye out for something a girl’s wearing that could interest you, and use it as a conversation starter.  However, let’s keep it classy.  “Hey I noticed your thong peeking out of your jeans is from the 2011 Victoria Secret’s Very Sexy collection” won’t break the ice, but she might break your nose.

Hit the Jackpot; Do Yoga

To find girls, you have to go where they are.  Sure, they’re at sports bars and coffee shops, but think smarter.  Go somewhere with an abundance of girls and a scarcity of guys.  Two things pop in mind for me: dance and yoga.  Since you actually need some basic techniques for dance, your easier option would be yoga.  Here are some reasons why you should give yoga class a try:

– The girl-guy ratio is typically 10000000000:1

– Limber girls

– Limber girls in tight clothing

– Limber girls in tight clothing sticking their ass in your face

– It promotes friendly interactions, so it’s much easier to start up a convo with the chick next to you

– LeBron James swears by it

– It’ll improve your sex life

– It’s a humbling experience (because it’s a lot harder than you think)

Some of you have voiced your concern for flatulence in yoga class.  I once had a girl fart on my face while in child’s pose.  Not cute.  But there are somethings you can do before class.  When you’re alone, put yourself in child’s pose for about 2 minutes and let it all out.  Another pose you should be careful of is the “Happy Baby.”  If you’re instructed to go into Happy Baby and you’re farty, opt out of it and just lie on your back. 

Some of you are concerned about looking like a fool.  You will look like a fool because yoga is meant to challenge you beyond your comfort zone.  Here’s a secret: girls don’t expect guys to be good but we want you in class, because it makes us want to work harder.

The last thing I would say is try to start off next to an inexperienced chick and move your way up to the best chick in class.  You can bond with an inexperienced yogi when you struggle through poses together.  How do you spot a rookie?  She’s usually in the back of class and doesn’t have her own yoga mat (so she uses the ones provided).  When you get better with your practice, challenge yourself by going next to a veteran yogi.  If you see her do a pose you’ve struggled with, ask her how she got there when the class is over.

I’m telling you, yoga is the best kept secret for picking up girls.  Go check it out before other guys find out!