YOU’RE INVITED: The Art of the Date (A Gallery Walk on the LES)

Singlefied readers are invited to another event with free food and drinks, this time co-sponsored by our friends at HowAboutWe.com!  There are only a few spots left, and all the female spots have filled up (must be a good sign).  All the details below:

The Art of the Date:
A Gallery Walk on the Lower East Side
Join us for a night of art, inspired conversation, good company and FREE drinks!
Fly solo and meet other New York daters.

DETAILS:
Check in at the  Lower East Side Visitors Center
54 Orchard Street (btw Grand & Hester)

Participating Galleries:
Lesley Heller Workspace: 54 Orchard St.
Lost Weekend NYC: 45 Orchard St.
Dino Eli Gallery: 81 Hester St (at Orchard St)
Stephan Stoyanov: 29 Orchard St

Thanks to our beverage sponsor, Beck’s!
*Attendees must be 21+ to drink and must provide ID

Thanks to PopChips, official snack of The Art of the Date!
Thanks to Bruschetteria for providing delicious hors d’oeuvres for our daters!
To join in the conversation on Twitter, please use #artofthedate

Register here

 

Setting the Right Expectations: Lessons Learned from Back to School Party

We here had Singlefied.com had another successful theme party in NYC last Thursday, this time it was “Back to School.”  Thanks to everyone who came out!  As an added bonus, all Singlefied readers will receive one month free from my favorite dating site, HowAboutWe.com (as recently discovered by one of my favorite bloggers, Simone Grant) – just enter the code FallDating.

While parties are meant to be fun, there’s always a lesson to be learned from Singlefied parties.  This time?  Setting the right expectations.

Because word travels fast, our Singlefied parties have reached beyond the core readership, expanding into social circles unfamiliar with the blog and myself.  I understand that there are qualms about attending any social event, especially if they’re “singles” related.  However, we are adults and should be able to handle most social situations, right?  So, you would understand my surprise when I received this email, “Got my reservations about singles events as it is almost always disappointing in terms of balance (and talent). What’s your feel on this for your party?”

Unfortunately, I feel that this is the mindset of a lot of you out there, not just in terms of parties, but also reservations about getting yourself out there in general.  I kind of want to hug you and slap you at the same time.  I want to hug you because you obviously have the desire to put yourself out there and meet someone.  But I want to slap you because wake up buddy, your expectations are all fucked up.

And if your expectations are negative from the get-go, you’re doomed to have a bad time.

Setting the right expectations is the key to making any social outing a success.  YOU CAN ONLY EXPECT OUTCOMES THAT ARE WITHIN YOUR CONTROL.  For example:

“I expect to…”

• – Have a good time (girls are especially attracted to this one)
• – Meet new people
• – Catch up with my friends
• – Not get so shitfaced I take home a grenade

But remember, you can NOT expect outcomes that are out of your control, such as the environment and who will be in attendance.  See, if you set expectations on anything out of your control, you’re pretty much guaranteed to be disappointed.  In the aforementioned email I received, this guy already set a negative expectation on the ratio of “talent” present at the party.  He was setting himself up for a disappointing night because 1) he couldn’t control who was going to be there, 2) he had projected his previous negative experiences onto this event, and 3) he had an arbitrary ratio threshold (“the ratio was 1:1 and I wanted 2 girls for every guy = FAIL” or “the ratio started at 2:1 but by 11pm, it was flipped = FAIL”).  There was just no winning with this guy.

So, when you’re out this weekend, set the right expectations and know that the least you can do is have a good time!

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Online Dating: It’s a Science.

I’ve been getting lots of questions about online dating lately, which makes perfect sense.  Summer is prime online dating season.  For those of you who’ve been online dating for a while, I’m sure you’ve noticed that the “inventory” in the summer is a lot better than in the winter.  So, I thought now would be a good time to give you a compilation of all the tools you’ll need to be a successful online dater.  And of course, if you need personalized help such as reviewing your profile, message drafting, etc, you can check out the services I offer.

1) Your profile pic: it’s the most important thing.  I recently saw a guy whose profile picture was him playing beer pong.  Dude, unless he’s the beer pong world champ, I can guarantee you no girl would ever click on his profile.

2) Try a niche online dating site.  Some of the bigger online dating sites are just a clusterfuck of random chicks who you have nothing in common with (except they have vaginas, and you like vaginas).  If you’re looking for a better response rate, it’s time to find your target audience.  My favorite is still HowAboutWe.

3) Personalized and targeted messaging.  Did you know the majority of your competition sends out general messages, such as “Hey, wanna chat?”  No girl wants to respond to that.  That’s what Live Links is for, dumbass. Like any good ad, you’ll get the best response rate if your messaging is personalized and targeted.

4) Don’t get carried away.  I call it “The Curse of the Buffet.”  Looking at too many choices is not always a good thing.  Know when you’re getting out of hand with your online “shopping” and serial dating.

Remember, the key to dating online is to take it offline.  If you find yourself spending more time sifting through profiles and IM’ing until 5am, you might as well be jerking off to porn.  Much better use of your time.

 

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Alternatives to Traditional Online Dating

Maybe you’ve exhausted all of your options on traditional online dating sites such as Match, OKCupid or eHarmony. So maybe now’s a good chance to think outside the box and try some non-traditional sites:

420 Dating

“Why Toke Alone?” the website claims.  That’s right, why should anyone smoke weed alone?  Weed lovers need human lovers too.  Also, dooood, what a gnarly way to arrest a bunch of people volunteering their illegal antics.

Cheek’d and FlipMe

Members get a stack of cards with their personal code.  When you see someone you like, you give them a card and they are directed to your online profile.  It’s a great way for women to protect their safety and men to protect their passive aggressiveness.  These companies claim they bring the offline online.  But once you’re offline, why wouldn’t you just stay offline?  Isn’t the whole point of going online is to bring people offline?  Also, I’m not down with the messages on these cards: “Mr & Mrs _____” “I’m playing easy to get” “I need a date to my sister’s wedding” and “emotionally available.”  How about just card that says, “I’m creepy.  You like?”

DateCraft

Dating site for World of Warcraft fans.  Let’s just say this: the ratio for guys is horrible, but the competition is in your favor.

Gorgeous Gamers

Gorgeous people who play video games.  I get that.  But who determines if you’re gorgeous or not?  If it’s self-identified, I’d be weary of the talent.  However, after a brief scope out, if Titties McNuggets is on here, you should dust off your controller ASAP.

Vegetarian Dating

FINALLY!  Someone get these motherfuckers off the normal dating sites for normal people.

How About We

You create a profile and propose a dating idea (“How about we go to the opera and have sex in the bathroom”) and members who are interested in your idea will message you.  You can also browse other people’s grand ideas.  It used to be purely blind dates, but now you can see pictures (all it took was for one ugly mofo to fuck this up).  As one of the fastest growing dating sites right now, I think this one is worth the try.

Airtroductions

Sick of being stuck next to the smelly dude with an overactive bladder on a long flight?  Now you can be stuck next to a chick who can’t stop talking about herself.  Airtroductions matches your profiles with others on your flight or at the same airport.  It’s up to you to make the link while your flight is delayed 5 hours.

Daily Diapers

You both love wearing diapers, shitting in them, wiping each others’ ass, and then having sex on the changing table.  And now, you can find a gaggle of other adult babies to play with!  Hooray!

meetMoi

Using GPS, the mobile app connects you with other singles near your location.  What a great way to say, “I couldn’t score with any of the women at this bar, maybe I’ll have better luck with you, or as the French say, tu.”

YesNoMayB

Using their Facespin technology, you’re presented with photos that you decide whether you like or not.  If there’s a match, you’ll both be notified.  Also similar to Amazon, the more photos you judge, the more they’re able to customize members presented to you based on your taste.  I like it…if dating were as simple as judging photoshopped pictures.

Kizmeet

A more sophisticated version of Craigslist’s “Missed Connections.”  Let’s say you meet a cute girl at Hoolihan’s but didn’t number-close.  You post your missed connection and cross your fingers you made the same impression on her, and that she knows what the hell Kizmeet is.  Eek.  On second thought, forget Hoolihan’s girl and how about just getting a number next time?

Women Behind Bars

We’re not talking about bartenders here, we’re talking inmates.  And you know what?  Inmates deserve love too, especially Vernice.

Scientific Match 

When they say chemistry is important in dating, they mean chemistry.  This $2000 service matches your DNA with other people’s DNA that are scientifically compatible.  Claimed benefits include: better sex life, less chance of infidelity, and healthier offsprings.  Your only risk is, your match could be a one-legged grenade.   But your children will be amazing.

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