The Curse of the Buffet: What Happens With Too Many Choices

Happy Mardi Gras and International Women’s Day!  In other words, HAPPY TITTIES DAY.  Let’s do a little experiment.  In the boobie collage below, choose your favorite pair of tits.  GO!

You done yet?  You want me to make it bigger?  Fine, as you wish.

OK, a little boobie overload?  Are you feeling dizzy?  Did you initially choose a pair and then quickly change your mind when you spotted another pair that was overlooked?  And after awhile, you’re confused because you’re not sure if the pair you like now is what you chose initially.  You want to choose multiple pairs but you also know that some of them won’t look as good without a bra, but hey, you’re willing to chance it.  But shit, you can only narrow it down to one pair for now.  I dunno, go take a break rookie and rest your over-worked eyes.

I often say that NYC is a man’s playground.  There’s…what…10 girls for every guy?  Any Joe Schmoe from bumblefuck, Nebraska can step into a NYC bar and smang the shit out of some random chick that night.  Lucky Joe Schmoe.  Or is he really lucky?

The problem is, when we’re presented with too many options, we end up with what I call The Curse of the Buffet [dun dun dun].  Check it.  I’m sure this has happened to many of you.  You step into a buffet and get overly excited by the CHOICES of food.  My strategy is always to take a lap first and then stop at what first catches my eye.  Then…it happens.  You start grabbing anything that looks good edible.   And by the end of your meal, you 1) have no idea what tasted the best and 2) feel like shit.

The same experience happens in online dating.  Too many choices make you want to date many of your potential suitors, but in the end, you’re not sure who’s the best for you.  Plus you’re stll alone.

Similar to that is speed dating.  A recent article claims that speed dating rarely results in successful dating stories because people are presented with too many choices.  Our brain can’t process that much information.

So, what’s our takeaway from this?  I’d like to tell you, “Hey just stick to your first choice.  That’s the person who caught your eye.”  But it’s not that simple because the minute you choose her, your mind will be wondering about the girl next in line.  My conclusion is that this is a good thing to know.  Next time you’re alone on a Friday night bitching about how there are no quality girls to date and your standards are too high.  Shut the fuck up.  Stop playing the victim.  Your own inability to narrow down even a pair of titties is the cause of your unhappiness.