4 Types of Hot Bitches (and how to handle their bitchiness)

Posted: 09/15/2011 by Singlefied in Dating, How To, Understanding Women
Tags: , , , , , , , ,

A couple months back, I posted the question “Would you let a hot girl get away with being bitchy?”  Turns out, many of you do have balls!  Most said that you would let her get away with it at first, and then be appalled by her bitchy behavior.  It makes sense: at least get her naked first before you kick her to the curb.

To explain hot bitchy behavior, I now introduce to 4 types of hot bitches:

1) Born Hot

“I was a hot baby.  Everyone stared at me.  All the boy babies wanted to get in my onesie.  Well, not much has changed.  I’m still a hot babe.  I think everyone still has a staring problem.  And all the boys want to get in my romper.  I don’t understand the concept of ‘carrying on a conversation,’ standing in line, paying for shit, working hard for something and pleasing a guy in bed.  And I definitely don’t understand why I would ever have to talk to anyone I don’t want to talk to.  Listen, guys flock to me and treat me like a princess.  I don’t have to do much.  It’s awesome.”

Why I may be bitchy to you:

“What do you mean I’m being bitchy?  I’m just treating you like how I treat everyone else.  Get over it.”

What you should do when I’m bitchy:

“Dude, call me out on it.  I’ve never thought of myself as being a bitch.  I thought I was just being normal.  If you think I’m acting negatively, tell me.  Every other guy has let me get away with anything, and that’s why they’re disposable in my eyes.  If you’re confident enough to call me out on my shit, then you’re the right match for me.”

2) Former Hot

“I was Homecoming Queen, president of my sorority, and always had the hottest boyfriends.  Then, I had too many beers, partied a little too hard, and laid out a little too long.  I’d be hot for a 45-year-old.  But shit, I’m 25.  I’ll admit, I hit my peak at 21 and it has been down hill ever since.  Wait, no.  I’m still hot, damnit.  Just look at my Facebook pictures from 2008!  I still have hot friends.  Boys still approach us when we’re out.  Yeah, the other girls get hit on more, but that’s just because I’m so intimidating ’cause I’m so hot.  Right?!”

Why I may be bitchy to you:

“How dare you pay more attention to my friends?  How dare you not hit on me when 2 years ago, you would’ve killed puppies for me?  How dare you not buy me a drink after I approached you at the bar?  How dare you talk to me like I’m a civilian, when you should put me on a pedestal?  How dare you not tell me how hot I am on our first date?”

What you should do when I’m bitchy:

“Ask me about Kristen and tell me how hot you think she is.  Then ask how much older I am than her.  Kristen is my older sister.  Thanks.”

3) Potentially Hot/Sometimes Hot

“I consider myself a normal looking girl but sometimes when I dress up to go out, I get treated completely differently.  I don’t know if it’s the tight dresses I wear or the makeup I put on, but my guy friends tend to be a little more flirtatious when we go out.  But when we’re hanging out on a Saturday afternoon drinking beers, I’m just considered one of the boys.  Honestly, I love the non-platonic attention.  I actually crave it.  But I’m just too lazy to be so high maintenance all the time.”

Why I may be bitchy to you:

“When I realize I can do better than you.  When there’s cuter guys hitting on me.  When I’m considered ‘hot’ so I should emulate ‘hot girl’ behavior.”

What you should do when I’m bitchy:

“Nothing.  When I wake up the next morning without my face on, I’ll come running back to you.”

4) Ugly Turned Hot

“People really develop good personalities when they’re not hot.  I developed my awesome personality when I had a snaggle tooth and chin hairs.  I overcompensated for my lack of good looks with a shining personality and witty humor (and perfected BJs, because that’ll win the boys over).  Then I discovered braces…and facial waxing.  And makeup.  And push-up bras.  And picked up hot girl lingo like ‘hi betches.’   I’m kind of the holy grail of hot girls because I’m good to look at and fun to talk to (plus I’m an animal in the sack).”

Why I may be bitchy to you:

“Kids used to make fun of my lazy eye.  I never got asked to a school dance.  Among my friends, I was always known as the one with ‘the personality.’  Guys don’t want to fuck personality!  So I’m finally getting the attention that I deserve and I sure as hell am not going to take it for granted.  I’m going to be bitchy to you if I don’t think you’re in my league, because I worked so hard to get to my league.  The old me was single not by choice.  The new me?  Simply unattainable.”

What you should do when I’m bitchy:

“Ask me about high school.”

And finally, gotta love College Humor for giving us the POV of a really hot girl:

The new MacBook Air, on sale for under $1000 at Amazon.com
.

Comments
  1. Datingisms says:

    [...] hot girl’s bitchiness is related to when she acquired the “hot” label. Like this:LikeBe the first to like [...]

  2. [...] How to handle hot, bitchy women. [...]

  3. TXB says:

    You nailed with this writeup. But LOVE all of those bitches.

  4. JulyU says:

    I was born hot. Sometimes I do have to be a bitch. Some guys take friendliness as an imaginary relationship or interest in a physical relationship. Even when you say “no thanks” they think you’re being hard to get.

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