Maybe you’ve exhausted all of your options on traditional online dating sites such as Match, OKCupid or eHarmony. So maybe now’s a good chance to think outside the box and try some non-traditional sites:
“Why Toke Alone?” the website claims. That’s right, why should anyone smoke weed alone? Weed lovers need human lovers too. Also, dooood, what a gnarly way to arrest a bunch of people volunteering their illegal antics.
Members get a stack of cards with their personal code. When you see someone you like, you give them a card and they are directed to your online profile. It’s a great way for women to protect their safety and men to protect their passive aggressiveness. These companies claim they bring the offline online. But once you’re offline, why wouldn’t you just stay offline? Isn’t the whole point of going online is to bring people offline? Also, I’m not down with the messages on these cards: “Mr & Mrs _____” “I’m playing easy to get” “I need a date to my sister’s wedding” and “emotionally available.” How about just card that says, “I’m creepy. You like?”
Dating site for World of Warcraft fans. Let’s just say this: the ratio for guys is horrible, but the competition is in your favor.
Gorgeous people who play video games. I get that. But who determines if you’re gorgeous or not? If it’s self-identified, I’d be weary of the talent. However, after a brief scope out, if Titties McNuggets is on here, you should dust off your controller ASAP.
FINALLY! Someone get these motherfuckers off the normal dating sites for normal people.
You create a profile and propose a dating idea (“How about we go to the opera and have sex in the bathroom”) and members who are interested in your idea will message you. You can also browse other people’s grand ideas. It used to be purely blind dates, but now you can see pictures (all it took was for one ugly mofo to fuck this up). As one of the fastest growing dating sites right now, I think this one is worth the try.
Sick of being stuck next to the smelly dude with an overactive bladder on a long flight? Now you can be stuck next to a chick who can’t stop talking about herself. Airtroductions matches your profiles with others on your flight or at the same airport. It’s up to you to make the link while your flight is delayed 5 hours.
You both love wearing diapers, shitting in them, wiping each others’ ass, and then having sex on the changing table. And now, you can find a gaggle of other adult babies to play with! Hooray!
Using GPS, the mobile app connects you with other singles near your location. What a great way to say, “I couldn’t score with any of the women at this bar, maybe I’ll have better luck with you, or as the French say, tu.”
Using their Facespin technology, you’re presented with photos that you decide whether you like or not. If there’s a match, you’ll both be notified. Also similar to Amazon, the more photos you judge, the more they’re able to customize members presented to you based on your taste. I like it…if dating were as simple as judging photoshopped pictures.
A more sophisticated version of Craigslist’s “Missed Connections.” Let’s say you meet a cute girl at Hoolihan’s but didn’t number-close. You post your missed connection and cross your fingers you made the same impression on her, and that she knows what the hell Kizmeet is. Eek. On second thought, forget Hoolihan’s girl and how about just getting a number next time?
We’re not talking about bartenders here, we’re talking inmates. And you know what? Inmates deserve love too, especially Vernice.
When they say chemistry is important in dating, they mean chemistry. This $2000 service matches your DNA with other people’s DNA that are scientifically compatible. Claimed benefits include: better sex life, less chance of infidelity, and healthier offsprings. Your only risk is, your match could be a one-legged grenade. But your children will be amazing.