If you haven’t seen it yet, I was quoted today in a New York Post article, “A Girl in Every Borough,” about dating multiple people in different geographic locations.  Thank you to Carrie Seim for the mention!

Did you know we are the only culture that not only accepts, but promotes dating more than one person at once?  As quoted in the article, Patti Stanger (Millionaire Matchmaker) advises, “I say date a pair and a spare until you become monogamous, otherwise you’re not going to have the competitive edge.”

I also encourage you all to date more than one person at once.  Not only does it help you weigh your options, you also avoid focusing too much on one girl, which could make you overbearing or obsessive.  No girl wants a guy who’s too available.  So if you’re going to attempt the dating juggling game, here are some DOs and DON’Ts:


Have fun!  Don’t see it as a chore or work.  I don’t want to hear you bitching about how expensive it is to juggle multiple girls.  You should treat it as a fun way to get to know different people at once.  The minute you feel that it is no longer fun, it means you’re not dating the right girls.

Be honest.  If she asks you if you’re seeing other people, you should be truthful in your answer.  You don’t want to mislead anybody because it will bite you in the ass.  But also, “don’t ask, don’t tell.”

Be present.  Some guys make the mistake of thinking about the other girl when they’re hanging out with the current girl.  Your goal is to get to know these women so you should focus your time and attention on the one girl when you’re with her.  Girls can sense when you’re not present.  Not only are you not getting to know this girl, but you also risk losing her.


Date too many girls.  If you’re juggling 2 or 3, that should be do-able.  But if you’re juggling 5 or 6, you’re not doing it right.  When you date too many, you end up being a “chick collector.”  You’ll get hung up on the idea of expanding your harem instead of finding quality girls to date.  Remember: quality over quantity.  It’s no fun to date 5 girls you feel bleh about.  Also, you risk experiencing the Curse of the Buffet, at which point, no girl will stand out and your mind will just become overwhelmed.

Brag about it.  Again, this is not a game or competition.  You’re trying to maximize your time, not your ego.

Be shady.  Trying to double book in one night?  Sneaking one girl into your apartment while the other one just left?  Inviting all the girls you’re dating to the same party?  Dude, shadiness gets you no where.  The minute you get caught, your reputation is shitfaced.  And guess what?  Girls talk.

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  1. Datingisms says:

    […] purpose of dating multiple girls is to compare your options, not bragging rights. Like this:LikeBe the first to like this post. […]

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