Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Please welcome our second male contributor, The Unsung Romantic, who will be alternating posts with Dick Lambert.  The Unsung Romantic is what many would call a Euromerican. He is a lover, a hunter and a fighter all rolled into one overly complicated contradiction of a modern day American playboy. He’s dated mother-daughter combinations, Thai nannies, has almost been married, has fathered unborn children and has more fetishes than noted on your favorite porn site. All this aside, he loves the essence of woman for every perfect imperfection they have, believes there really is one woman (at least) out there that makes a man lose all sense of consciousness and understands men are from Mars and women are from another completely uncharted parallel universe.

“Heroes take journeys, confront dragons, and discover the treasure of their true selves.”

– Carol Lynn Pearson

Wanna win over a girl? Try these magical lyrics. I don’t know what girl wouldn’t put out for a line like, “She began to blush, I heard her coochi whistle.” Full lyrics below and this site explains what each line means.

How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?
The way you move your hips, girl, make me hypnotized
How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?
Fried or fertilized?
Fried or, fried or fertilized?
Fried or, fried or fertilized?
Fried or, fried or fertilized?
Fried or, fried or fertilized?
The way you move your hips, girl, make me hypnotized

[Verse 1: Yung Humma]

Yung Humma
Early in the morning, ’bout nine o’clock
Had a freak last night. Made her body rock
Feeling kind of groggy. Stomach toss and turning
She said, “Was that your belly or was it birds chirping?”
I said that I was hungry. She said, “Baby, me too
Why don’t we go out and get us some breakfast food?”
We ain’t gotta leave to get no breakfast food
‘cuz I’m a lady tamer and a chef too
So I began to cook
Could tell I had her shook
She wasn’t ready for the recipe in Humma’s book!

[Verse 2: Yung Humma]

She said, “I love the eggs. What did you do to ’em?
The way they smell and taste really got a girl drooling.”
I knew that you would like it. Why you so surprised?
How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?
Fried or fertilized? Baby, I’m confused!
Don’t be offended. You got it misconstrued
When I say “fried,” I’m talking breakfast eggs
But when I fertilize, those the eggs between your legs
She began to blush. I heard her coochie whistle. (Whoo-whoo!)
She was fiending for the heat up out of Humma’s missle

[Outro: Yung Humma]

I ain’t playing girl. Don’t think you realize
How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?
I ain’t playing girl. Don’t think you realize
How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?
I ain’t playing girl. Don’t think you realize
How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?
I ain’t playing girl. Don’t think you realize
How you like your eggs, fried or fertilized?

I must be on a video kick lately. There are just so many good ones! I mean, how could I not share the love of smanging?

Are You Winning?

Posted: 03/03/2011 by Singlefied in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

You would be winning if you were getting Singlefied emails.  Apparently some of you subscribers are getting our emails in your junk folder.   Sure we talk about dating strippers and how to keep your cock hard, but shit, we don’t need you to wire money to Nigeria to save your dying uncle.  Please double check that our emails aren’t being discriminated as spam.  Those fuckers.

And if you’d like to get first dibs on our posts, events, and specials, subscribe to Singlefied on the homepage.  So easy, Charlie Sheen can do it.

If email’s not your thang, there are other ways to keep connected.  We’re like a really good girlfriend.  We wanna:

Know what you’re thinking on Facebook

Know what you’re doing on Twitter

Know where you are on Foursquare (j/k, we’re not that psycho)

Spot Our Facebook Ad!

Posted: 02/08/2011 by Singlefied in Technology, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

If you happen to see it, let me know.  Gotta make sure this ish works.

Please help me welcome our first contributing blogger, Dick Lambert.  I met Dick 3 years ago and have since been mesmerized by his womanizing skills.  This guy can pull some hot ass without much effort.

Dick Lambert is a man’s man, plain and simple. He has slept with strippers, the occasional porn star, your girlfriend, all of your girlfriend’s friends, cousins, sisters, etc.  Currently he is working on the trifecta of two sisters and their mom.  His love for sleeping with all the women in a circle of friends borders on pathological but that’s OK, he is here to share some of his game with you.  Men may be from Mars and women must be from Venus but Dick is just a dick.

I heard from someone that MIT scientists emitted sounds of vaginal contractions into space to attract aliens.  Just a little skeptical, I went home and researched it.  So it turns out, it’s (mostly) true.  In 1986, MIT research affiliate, Joe Davis, was concerned that outerspace creatures had not been exposed to human genitalia.  He decided to record vaginal contractions of ballet dancers and transmitted the sounds into neighboring star systems.

First of all, was Mr. Davis trying to attract aliens or scare them away?  I mean, emitting sounds of vaginas in their feeding mode is not the most appetizing bait.  And balleriginas (good word, I know)?  Really?!  Good thing Black Swan didn’t come out back then because those are some of the scariest cunts that would give aliens nightmares.  Lastly, it’s inevitable that there was some queefing sprinkled in the soundtrack, right?  I’m sure you’ve experienced the awkward vaginal fart noises during sex when fluids and air bubbles are involved.  Do these aliens really want to hear some foreign object devouring and farting?  I think I just lost a little bit of respect for Mr. Davis and MIT.

Speaking of queefing, I once met a girl who went by the name Queen LaQueefa.  Now, that’s true talent.  Turn up the volume on this video (but probably not at work).

In honor of the Comcast-NBC merger, let’s celebrate with the merger of calves and ankles.  Both mergers provide us with hours of entertainment.  To show our appreciation, let’s declare today National Cankles Day.  This weekend, I was so excited to have spotted my first pair in person while in the dressing room.  I was so ecstatic I told my friend about it and she responded, “Have you never been to a Walmart?!”  Shit, I need to be paying more attention.

The only face you should cum on would be on our Face(book).  We be keepin’ it classy on this site.