Happy belated Steak & Blowjob Day! Apparently, 3/14 (one month after Valentine’s Day) is declared the male Valentine’s Day, otherwise known as Steak & Blowjob Day. It’s a self-explanatory holiday where you’re rewarded with…well…steak and a blowjob. That’s all fine and dandy except I don’t think Steak & BJ Day is the male answer to Valentine’s Day. Sure, on V-Day we get treated to a nice meal, etc etc. But, it’s not like we’re guaranteed some quality oral sex from you. Actually, we want to pleasure you MORE on V-Day to reward you for all your effort and planning. However, the expectations of Steak & BJ Day are pretty clear. We must treat you to a steak and a blowjob. That’s not fair then. So, as a good compromise, I declare today, 3/16, Pineapple & Pussy Day.
Here’s how I picture the description in future history books: “Pineapple & Pussy Day was started on 3/16/11 by NYC dating coach, Yue, as an answer to Steak & Blowjob Day on 3/14. On this day, women are treated to pineapples, which are delicious and proven to make pussy taste delicious as well. Then, they are spoiled with longer-than-usual sessions of hot and steamy pussy licking from a member of the opposite sex.”
Happy P & P Day. And if you don’t have pineapple handy, the following foods will also improve vaginal taste:
- Lots of water
- Cranberry juice
- Wheat grass
Get to work, boys!