I heard from someone that MIT scientists emitted sounds of vaginal contractions into space to attract aliens. Just a little skeptical, I went home and researched it. So it turns out, it’s (mostly) true. In 1986, MIT research affiliate, Joe Davis, was concerned that outerspace creatures had not been exposed to human genitalia. He decided to record vaginal contractions of ballet dancers and transmitted the sounds into neighboring star systems.
First of all, was Mr. Davis trying to attract aliens or scare them away? I mean, emitting sounds of vaginas in their feeding mode is not the most appetizing bait. And balleriginas (good word, I know)? Really?! Good thing Black Swan didn’t come out back then because those are some of the scariest cunts that would give aliens nightmares. Lastly, it’s inevitable that there was some queefing sprinkled in the soundtrack, right? I’m sure you’ve experienced the awkward vaginal fart noises during sex when fluids and air bubbles are involved. Do these aliens really want to hear some foreign object devouring and farting? I think I just lost a little bit of respect for Mr. Davis and MIT.
Speaking of queefing, I once met a girl who went by the name Queen LaQueefa. Now, that’s true talent. Turn up the volume on this video (but probably not at work).