Posts Tagged ‘New Years Eve party’

As the balls drops tonight, you will be able to find someone to pay attention to your balls as well.  Well, let’s start with the kiss first, which may lead to some ball massages.  Here’s what you do:

1) Find a party.  You kind of need girls around in order to kiss them.

2) Choose your target…fast! Scope out the room right away and find the girl you’re most interested in.  This is not a night for evaluating personalities.  It really doesn’t matter if she sucks.  This is the night to embrace your Shiny Object Syndrome.

3) Hit on her.  Single girls are out on the prowl tonight so they kind of expect to be hit on.  Comment on how good she looks, she’ll love it.  Some girls go crazy pampering for the big countdown (take a look at the packed salons and mani-pedi places), so she’ll appreciate that you noticed her efforts.

4) TOAST AND BOLT.  This is a KEY step.  Get her a drink and she’ll feel super confident that you’re into her, but as soon as she gets that drink in hand, say “cheers” and mention you have to go meet up with your friends as you walk away.  She won’t know what hit her.  In her mind, she had the upper hand, then suddenly, she’s not sure anymore.  You’ve just filled her head with all sorts of insecurities, “Did he not find me attractive?” “Does my breath smell?” “Did I say something weird?”

5) Ignore her until 11:30ish.  This will give her time to scope out the other options, who will most likely be douchebags.  Because, douchebags rule NYE.

6) Purposefully linger.  Start lingering near her and make short eye contact.  Also, make sure her boyfriend hasn’t just shown up.  Around 11:50 is when we’re all looking around to find our potential kiss.  After screening through the douchey inventory, she’ll be relieved to see your familiar face.  She’ll also be a little tipsy, so “beer goggles” are in full effect.  Don’t forget, you instilled some insecurity in her earlier, so she’ll want a 2nd chance to prove herself to you.

7) Kiss.  About 11:55 you should be smiling and dancing with her.  Maybe hold her closer and brush up against inappropriate places.  She can’t escape now and you’re guaranteed a kiss at 3…2…1….Happy New Year!

If you want to take her home, linger around but don’t be too clingy.  Let her initiate taking you home.  She’ll feel like she won you over.  If you decide you are bored, find your next target during Magic Hour.