I recently went to my first speed dating event with some girlfriends. For those of you who are not familiar with speed dating, here is how it works: you’re put in a private room (usually at a bar/club) with other daters and possible lovers. You get a scorecard (as pictured) and fill in your interest level for each person you meet. For most events, you have 5-8 minutes/person. For larger events, you have 1-2 minutes/person. In one night, you could meet anywhere between 10-50 singles. After you’ve met everyone, you pick your top choices and if there’s a match (both people indicate they’re interested), you’ll both be notified. Then it’s totally up to you where you take it from there. Oh, there’s usually lots of drinking involved.
After going into this with a total open mind, I would HIGHLY recommend speed dating for you guys. Here’s why:
1) It’s great practice. Speed dating is short and efficient. In merely 5 minutes, you have to sell yourself but also solicit info from her as well. The time limit will help you be direct, succinct and creative.
2) The girls have to talk to you. That hot one with the huge tits would normally ignore you at a bar, but in this setting, she has to give you her time. Skipping is not an option. Maybe she and her twins will find you surprisingly sexy.
3) More women; less competition. There’s always an abundance of women at these events. I had to book my speed dating event almost 2 months ago because all the female spots had been sold out. At the one I went to, the ratio of women-to-men was about 3-to-1. And let’s just say, it’s not terribly hard to stand out from the types of guys who usually show up at these things.
4) For shits and giggles. You have a new line you want to try out? You want to pretend you’re a professional stunt double for Johnny Depp? Or maybe you have 2 hours to spare before a real date? Dude, why not shoot the shit with some girls to kill time? What do you have to lose?
So now you have all the reasons to do speed dating, here are some pointers based on my observations and feedback from the girls:
1) Stop playing defense. Here are some phrases I heard over and over again: “My friend dragged me here, so I’m here for him.” “I was begged to be here by one of the owners, so I’m doing her a favor.” “My job keeps me really busy so this is my only way to meet people.” Don’t be insecure about why you’re doing speed dating. By being defensive about your reasons, it makes the girls feel bad for being there, too. It’s the same thing for online dating when a guy writes, “My friends pressured me to get on this site, so here I am.” Well what if a girl really wanted to try something new? You just now made her feel like shit. Nobody wants to feel like they’re undesirable or a leftover, so leave your insecurities aside and be proud that you’ve put yourself out there.
2) Don’t be a dick or pretend to be one. One of the guys commented on my girlfriend’s waitressing job with, “Does your day job not pay enough?” That makes me wonder, “Is your penis not big enough?” I don’t care how much The Game tells you to put down a woman to get her to like you, it doesn’t work if you’re directly attacking her profession. Sure, this guy totally thought he was flirting with my friend when reality, she was immediately turned off.
3) Go with a friend. It’s always good to tag team something like this because it creates a comfort zone for you, and girls like to see that you have friends. It’ll also help break the ice because you can talk about your friend or even make fun of him, all in good humor of course. And c’mon, you need someone to compare notes with at the end of the event.
4) Don’t write off anyone. Sure, you’re not going to be attracted to everyone you meet. So, you maybe feel inclined to be uninterested and uninteresting when you meet a girl you’re not into. However, remember this: girls travel in packs. You don’t know who she’s there with, and she could be BFFs with your #1 girl. Girls talk…a lot. And if your #1 choice is on the fence about you, she can easily be persuaded by her friends. Make a good impression on everyone because trust me, if my girlfriend has nice things to say about you, it makes you a lot more attractive in my eyes. [And secretly, it makes me want to compete for you. Rawr.]
5) Have an open mind. Do I think you’re going to find the woman of your dreams? No. But will you have fun if you keep an open mind? Yes. Listen, you’re going into speed dating for pure entertainment. Your goal is to get to know different people and find something interesting about everyone. Channel your inner Barbara Walters and take it on as a challenge to make the shy girl smile, get the loud girl to shut up, or better yet, charm the pants off the girl who’s out of your league. Open mind, open heart, open legs!
Curious about speed dating? Miss Singlefied recommends Hurry Date