Posts Tagged ‘funny dating stories’

Written By: Dick Lambert

“Every dog has his day” is an old saying originating from Shakespeare’s Hamlet “Let Hercules himself do what he may; The cat will mew, and dog will have his day.” Now, never say you didn’t learn anything reading my posts.

One particular day I was bringing around my trophy girlfriend Christina to watch football with my friends. I had no other motive than to show her off. Christina was a wonderfully vapid, voluptuous and wonderful tart. Long curly springy blond hair that seemed to dance teasingly around her plunging neckline. She had two wonderfully full scoops of vanilla ice cream breasts that she adored showing off. Yes, and for once they were real! Nice long legs sculptured from time at the gym and an outrageously black short skirt which she would happily have to maintain throughout our stay a dollop of demureness. Please do note that I flaunted Christina around not out of arrogance but to inspire.

Just as I was putting ass to seat, cracking open my first beer, and completely prepared to watch some football and my friends drool over Christina, in comes my friend’s huge akido dog named Hiro. Christina is bending down to reach her drink on the coffee table, more a curtsy bow than anything. Hiro without missing a mark bounds into the living room and knocks Christina on all fours and mounts her.

Hiro goes from zero to sixty in milliseconds and is madly humping away on my date. Christina at first is dumbfounded, then she yells to get him off of her. Only, we can’t as we are paralyzed by the shocking sight of Hiro humping Christina with total abandonment. Then collectively we realize the dog is in such throes of ecstasy that to interrupt could risk one pulling back a stump instead of a hand. Christina is trying to crawl away but Hiro is secured fast around her hips going to town. I can’t do anything but laugh and luckily Hiro’s owner quickly regains perspective and rips Hiro away from his passionate lovemaking.

Christina, embarrassed, pulls down her skirt and as red as I have ever seen anyone, commands me to take her home. I comply of course, missing the game. Christina breaks up with me because I didn’t do anything but laugh.

We at Singlefied do not condone bestiality; we do believe that if you keep reading Singlefied you will have your day and hopefully days, you dog!

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