Last weekend, my hot leggy friend Bethenny asked if I wanted to go out to dinner with her and her girlfriends. Her text to me was, “We have a driver and dinner will be free.” Fully intrigued, I agreed to tag along. As I waited on the curb, a nice SUV pulled up with a group of attractive girls, like in any good rap video. The driver was a quiet, older gentlemen (probably in his 50’s). On our way to the restaurant, Bethenny would speak to the driver in a tone that was very unlike her – she was mean and bossy. The driver, on the other hand, was not fazed by Bethenny’s commands, and even seemed to be encouraged by her irritated tone. What the fuck was going on?!
We pulled up to the restaurant and the driver asked Bethenny if he gave us enough money for dinner. She replied, “If we don’t have enough, I’ll get more from you.” So…this guy’s not just a driver. He dropped us off and pulled into a parking space; I waited for him to join us. I was wrong. The dude waited in his car while we dined for the next 3 hours.
Turns out, he is Bethenny’s “client.” He pays her to boss him around and make him do things, such as clean her apartment, drive her around the city, take her shopping. He also occasionally asks for her to step on him, in stilettos. The man, a former football coach, apparently went through something traumatic in his early adult life where he now feels indebted to women. He devotes his time and money to his master, Bethenny. He even put her in his will.
Like you, I question if there is something sexual (although Bethenny has never done anything remotely sexual with him). You know, there has to be. I’ve known many dominatrices (did you know that’s plural for dominatrix? I had to google it), especially when I lived in the Bay Area. Some of the most high-powered CEO’s in Silicon Valley would boss people around during the day and hire this woman Ally to boss them around at night. And it wasn’t just verbal commands, it was spanking, yanking, pulling, tugging, whipping, hitting, cutting, thrashing, and bullying. One of Ally’s most popular services was pissing or pooping…on them. And for the golden shower rookies, they would lie beneath a clear coffee table while she’d do her thing on top of it. Believe it or not, sex was never involved.
In the case of Bethenny’s football-coach client and the Bill Gates of Silicon Valley, it almost makes sense. They devote their days to telling other people what to do and in their domestic life, they just want to be told what to do. But then I wonder, why is there not a female equivalent. Meaning, why is it that the more powerful a woman is in her work life, the more bossy she is in her domestic life? You’ll rarely hear of a woman who is some hot shot bossy boss by day and lets her husband micromanage her at home. And furthermore, why is there no such thing as a male dominatrix (as a hired profession, not a fetish such as male doms and sadists)? Are women inherently able to be powerful in all aspects of life when men are only able to act in such a way in their profession? Do men deep down just want to be bossed around by women, and actually get off on it? Does a couple work better when the woman wears the pants? Are men unable to hit/beat women even if she wanted it, because of social norms? Why is it when a guy beats a girl, he’s Chris Brown, and if a girl beats a guy, it’s assumed self defense?
Lastly, would you get off on a girl stepping on you in stilettos? ‘Cause I have a closet full…
Happy weekend everyone!