Posts Tagged ‘dating sites’

While living in Beijing for first half of the year, I kept hearing about this new dating site that I was missing out on back in NYC.  In fact, Chinese people couldn’t stop tweeting about it, disappointed that they couldn’t try it out first hand.  So, I had to see what all the fuss was about and was lucky enough to interview co-founder Dawoon Kang.  Coffee Meets Bagel is name of the site.  And I have to say: simply brilliant.

Here’s how it works – 

1) You sign up using your Facebook account, with a couple simple questions and some are already auto-filled.

2) The magical algorithm will do its job to dig into your friends’ inventory of friends, collecting your potential matches.

3) At noon every day, you’re given one choice (aka Bagel), and you can either LIKE or PASS.

4) If you both choose LIKE, you’ll be notified and it’s up to you two to take it from there!

Here’s why I think it’s dope:

  • Less is more.  You’re only given one choice a day.  I recently watched a TED talk from Sheena Iyengar called “How to make choosing easier.”  Basically she talks about how the more options we’re presented with, the less we’re able to make confident decisions, leading to higher chances of buyer’s remorse.  Well, the same goes for online dating.  Remember my post on The Curse of the Buffet (lots of titties in case you’re easily offended by funbags)?  The reason why people get so burnt out by online dating is that it’s hard to focus on the matches, when you’re busy thinking about what other matches may be out there.  Also, after looking at gazillion profiles, they all mush together.
  • Less creepy.  You and your matches will have friends in common.  This technically makes them AND YOU less creepy, even if you’re creeper-certified.  According to the site, people are 37% more likely to date someone if they have Facebook friends in common.
  • Instant dating resume (possibly).  Sometimes dating gets difficult when you meet a rando at a bar and you have no idea what their story is.  So  meeting someone with friends in common gives you instant insights into this person’s history and dating patterns.
  • Perfect for lazy people.  Let’s face it.  You’re lazy.  It probably took you lots of energy to read up to here.  Now all you need to do is lift a finger to press LIKE or PASS once every day.  Takes less effort than taking a shit.

Bad news bears:

  • Rejection on the spot.  Rejection is a lot easier when it’s from strangers who never return your emails.  But it may be a little tricky when it’s a friend of a friend who chose PASS on your mug.  Don’t worry, if you ever meet this person out, just get really really really drunk.
  • Available only in NYC and Boston.  But don’t worry, they’re expanding quicker than you can bitch about it.
  • Matches not ideal.  In order to appear as one of your Bagels, that person would’ve had to sign up, too.  This obviously limits your matches to people who 1) have heard about the site and 2) are willing to put themselves out there forgoing the anonymity they get from traditional dating sites.  But if they value their anonymity so much, they might also be at home collecting human skin and snorting bath salts.  Just sayin’.

Overall, you don’t have much to lose with Coffee Meets Bagel.  Quite a few of my friends and clients have signed up for it.  So far, nobody’s found their dreamboat, but at least they’re having fun doing it.  Because after all, isn’t that what dating should be about?  Having fun?  LIKE!

And just some random facts about how your college affects your dating experience (according to the Coffee Meets Bagel blog):

Miss Singlefied recommends the book: Around the world in 80 Girls: The epic 3 year trip of a backpacking Casanova

How many posts have I written about online dating?  A million?  And what are all these sites turning into?  A virtual whorehouse of unemployed perverts lookin’ to pokey pokey.  I’m all for online brothels (it’s efficient and clean!) but there comes a point when having meaningless sex is just…meaningless.  My friend Dave recently told me that he believes sites like OkCupid and Match are taking the mystery out of dating.  In his own words, “I can fuck a different girl every night of the week, but that’s because I can’t have a real conversation with any of them.”

So, if you’re still in your manslut stages, go the traditional online dating route.  But if your penis has a taste for finer things, continue reading.  I recently was approached by the founder of Sparkology.com.  Keep in mind, I get bombarded with emails from these dating website startups that want me to review their site.  Most of them I politely ignore but Sparkology really caught my attention.  The site is not a dating site, it’s an online dating community for high-quality singles.  There are four selling points for me in particular:

1) Men have to pay per message.  This eliminates all of you trying to copy-and-paste mass messages, and it makes you really evaluate if you’re interested or not now that a dollar value is associated with it.  On the flip side, because girls know that you paid to message us, it makes us actually want to read your message.  Not to mention that it is totally flattering.

2) Invite-only.  That’s pretty self-explanatory.  Anytime you have an invite-only service, it creates a more exclusive environment and people tend to be more picky with whom they invite.

3) One-page profiles.  I hate the nonsense of personality questions and other redundant profile topics.  All the extra stuff should be left to in-person interactions.  The whole goal is to date offline…right?  I honestly don’t need to know how you would react if you saw a cat get hit by a truck.

4) They don’t want you to stay too long.  Most sites offer long term incentives hoping you’d keep renewing your membership.  That defeats the whole purpose of dating!  Sparkology focuses on the short term and makes sure you get the most out of their service as soon as you join.  They employ market-driven behavioral algorithms; meaning they analyze your real actions and interactions to learn who are the best candidates for you (like how Pandora finds you great music).

Sparkology is now exclusively inviting Singlefied readers to participate in the beta website, and after it is out of beta, you all get one month free.  I am unable to publicly post the code, but if you’re interested in checking it out, contact me or tweet me @SinglefiedYue and I will email you the code!  I just finished my profile yesterday and I gotta say, I dig the layout so far.  Looking forward to all of your feedback on the site. ***There are no more codes to hand out as Beta phase is over.  However, you can go through Singlefied’s special link to sign up for Sparkology and your application will be pushed to the front of the (VERY LONG) line!

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