Lately, I’ve been thinking about all the things that girls do to improve our performance in the sack. First, we have millions of best-selling books on how to pleasure a guy in bed. There’s even one for squirting! Yup, a step-by-step instructional booklet on teaching ourselves to squirt. Then, we have kegel exercises where we contract and relax our vaginal muscles. And recently, there’s the popular pole dance and striptease classes that “help improve women’s confidence” when in the end, it’s about showing off what we learned in class for our men. If all that wasn’t enough, now there’s a new class called Kama, which I see it as a combination of yoga, kegel, stripping and dry humping. The purpose is to strengthen the pelvic muscles used frequently during sex. Check out this video, I got a little hot and bothered:
So, what do you guys do to train you for better sex? Jacking off? Doesn’t count, because that’s all about your penis, not about if your penis is pleasuring your hand. Watching porn? C’mon, how many of you are really taking copious notes on how clits are being licked. Blow-up dolls? Nope, because they can’t tell you what feels good and what doesn’t. Again, it’s all about how the doll makes you feel.
In conclusion, I’ve come up with a fair solution. While we’re busy toning, tightening and strengthening our vag and pelvic muscles, your only job is to train your penis to be erect and stay erect. I found this great article on AskMen.com that has kegel exercises for men. The easiest exercise for you is control your urine flow, meaning stop your piss midway. By doing so, “you will be able to have better sex by being able to better control your orgasms and ejaculations, and last for longer, plus you may get the added kudos of being able to hold up a wet towel with your erection if you practice these Kegel exercises for men.”
Ahhh, what a wonderful world it would be to hear the stop-and-go of urine next time I pass by the men’s bathroom. Dreams. Can. Come. True.
And P.S., how many of you have just looked up Kama class schedules at your nearest Crunch for a little observation? Pervs.