Posts Tagged ‘butterface’

You guys seem to have no problem pointing out the butterfaces (hot body, bad face), but butterbodies don’t ever get a mention.  So in this battle of a toned Kathy Griffin vs. a jiggly Megan Fox, who would you rather fuck?

[Did I just hear you choose Kathy Griffin over Megan Fox?]

After a night of drunken debauchery, you wake up the next morning and feel a warm body next to you.  Before you turn to look, you’re trying hard to recall last night’s events including the last girl you remember hanging out with.  Still groggy and anxious, you turn around.  There she is, the butterface you did NOT want to take home.  But she just happened to be the last woman standing so you took the road most traveled: Route Easy Sex.

I often get the question of what you should do when you’re trying to get rid of a girl the morning after.  I know it’s awkward and you don’t want to seem like a complete dick but you really just want to say, “Please get the fuck out, I’d like to take a shit in peace.”  To ease your future anxieties, this trick works pretty damn well.  It’s what I call the “Magic Alarm Clock.”

If you know you’re about to have a drunken night where you might black out or take a girl home, set your alarm for 9:00am before you head out.  If you have to label it, mark it as “Breakfast with Joe and Ann.”  Then, the alarm will go off the next morning and if you have a girl in bed, you have 2 options: 1)If you want out, you say, “Crap, I totally forgot I have a breakfast with my friends in town.  Sorry, I gotta get ready now.”  This will immediately signal for the girl to leave without you hurting her feelings.  2)If you like the girl, you simply turn off the alarm and say, “Stupid work alarm, I always forget to turn it off on weekends.”  You two will then go back to bed or have some fantastic morning sex!

Kikkerland AC22-DK Clap-On Cube Alarm Clock, Now only $16.28 on Amazon