I don’t know what I was smoking when I wrote Good Vibrations…Down Under. EVERYBODY likes oral sex. So I must clarify that some people do not like it because they’ve never experienced someone who knew what they were doing. C’mon, you’ve had that girl who used too much teeth. Similarly, we’ve all had that guy who was a little too much dog and not enough human. For girls, when oral sex is bad, it’s baaaad. And I will put the blame on us, because we don’t tell you when you’re bad. We still thrust and moan, which gives you affirmation that you’re doing a good job. Then you’re going to use the same retarded technique on the next girl.
From today, let’s make a pact. You study up on your oral sex skills. Porn is a good start. “Sit on my face” never fails. I, on the other hand, will encourage girls to help you perfect your technique by guiding you with our hips and hands, or verbal commands. I will also advise girls to get dick sucking tips from the gays. Deal? Deal.