Archive for the ‘Online Dating’ Category

How To Get The Girl | IGNORE and SCORE: Dating Mindsets Explained – How To Attract And Date Beautiful Women

Happy Valentine’s Day guys!  Yay, another day reminding you that you’re single whether you like it or not.  I am currently in Beijing working on a couple dating-related (and some just for fun) projects.  The dating scene here is borderline absurd where men outnumber women 3:1 but expats know China to be a notorious easy lay.  Who knew such a conservative culture on the outside would hide so much promiscuity underneath.  Trust me, I could write a whole book on it (and I will).  And if you’re a guy not getting enough ass in the US, you should come to China.  But don’t expect “Me love you long time.”  It’ll be more like, “Me love you tonight or until I find out you’re dirt ass poor.”

OK, back to Valentine’s Day.  The topic of dating has become the most popular thing in China with hundreds of dating shows, matchmaking services, and online dating sites popping up by the second.  In the past, people traditionally met by being introduced by family or co-workers.  Now, young Chinese adults have taken on more non-traditional approaches to dating.  One of which is through the most downloaded app in China called Weixin, available for Android and Apple.

This free app is available in English and Chinese and after downloading it for only 2 days, I’ve already decided that it is perfect for the single and bored.  So the basic functions are:

  • SMS anyone in your phonebook without using up your text message allowance
  • Send instant audio messages (way better than voicemail)
  • Send bulk messages
  • Search for friends
  • Find people within a 1000m radius through an advanced geo-location service

But here’s some of the kinky stuff you can do:

  • Strike up a conversation with any of the strangers you find through the geo-location search.  Everyone has a profile pic and a brief intro so you can weed out the uglies.
  • The “Shake” (摇一摇)function asks you to shake your phone and if other people (strangers or friends) happen to shake their phone at the same time, you’re instantly connected and can initiate a conversation with each other.  I was at a dinner where someone told me that her brother in Australia found his current girlfriend through this function.  Apparently, Weixin has reached more than 100 million shakes a day, meaning over 100 million strangers are connecting daily.
  • My favorite is the “Drift Bottle” function, which can be really quirky and naughty.  You have two selections: 1) You write/record a message and “throw” it out into the cybersea, or 2) You pick up a random message and respond to the stranger if you choose to.  It may seem innocent enough but last night while using this function, I thought I was in the middle of some weird cyber porno.  I “threw” out the audio message “I love cake!” and got several replies along the lines of “Is it as yummy as you?” “I’ll eat it if it’s on you,” and the most forward, “I want to eat you.”  Now I’m dating all 3 guys.  (haha, j/k)

So there are 50 million Weixin users with the majority being between 22-30.  It helps if you know Chinese but many of the users are non-Chinese and/or know English.  But that may also be because I’m using it in China.  How about you guys try it in the states and tell me who you find?

And just a word of caution from my friend PK: people always look better as a thumbnail.  Make sure you ask for more pics before you meet up with these randos.

If you want to find more dating apps, check out Apps Magazine: The Best dating Apps


I was recently interviewed and profiled by  I promised I wouldn’t hold anything back.  And I didn’t…


Up Close and Personal with Miss Singlefied

If Will Smith’s character from the 2005 movie Hitch were a real person, he would be a she, and she would be Chinese and hot. Everything else is pretty much the same, minus the story line and plot, actually only the part where Hitch helps guys with dating advice is the same.

Read the rest here

How To Get The Girl | IGNORE and SCORE: Dating Mindsets Explained – How To Attract And Date Beautiful Women

Our friends at have invited Singlefied readers to an exclusive pre-launch party in NYC on 10/22.  All the details below.  I think this is such a great idea and also an awesome chance for you guys to get a great profile picture while sippin’ on some gin and juice.

Sparkology Pre-Launch Party and Photo Event



The MiMa, MC Level, 450 West 42nd, bw 9 and 10th Ave



It’s official: You, our inaugural members and guests, are invited to join us for our launch mixer and photo session this Saturday.

The most important part of your image is your photo: Hannah Palmer Egan and Olivia Hall of Caras TriBeCa, a downtown beauty and photo studio, will take professional headshot and full-body photos that you can keep

Make-up by Melissa DiScala featuring MAC products will help you look your best

Vodka and mixed drinks provided by our sponsor Voli, the world’s first low calorie vodka

Plenty of wine and champagne to get you camera-ready

Beer provided by our sponsor Blue State Beer

Delicious catered hors d’oeuvres

Photos will be taken in natural light on the Terrace.  Please arrive early to ensure you get time with photographer
Best of all: kick back and relax with other ladies and gentlemen of Sparkology.  To join the invite-only community, use Singlefied’s private code.

***Guests are welcome but RSVP is required.  Please email: and mention you were referred by Singlefied.  This is a premier venue – if you aren’t on the list, you aren’t getting in.***

Please dress ready for the camera.

Check out “Sex Diaries” in New York Magazine, real life sex stories from New Yorkers.

How many posts have I written about online dating?  A million?  And what are all these sites turning into?  A virtual whorehouse of unemployed perverts lookin’ to pokey pokey.  I’m all for online brothels (it’s efficient and clean!) but there comes a point when having meaningless sex is just…meaningless.  My friend Dave recently told me that he believes sites like OkCupid and Match are taking the mystery out of dating.  In his own words, “I can fuck a different girl every night of the week, but that’s because I can’t have a real conversation with any of them.”

So, if you’re still in your manslut stages, go the traditional online dating route.  But if your penis has a taste for finer things, continue reading.  I recently was approached by the founder of  Keep in mind, I get bombarded with emails from these dating website startups that want me to review their site.  Most of them I politely ignore but Sparkology really caught my attention.  The site is not a dating site, it’s an online dating community for high-quality singles.  There are four selling points for me in particular:

1) Men have to pay per message.  This eliminates all of you trying to copy-and-paste mass messages, and it makes you really evaluate if you’re interested or not now that a dollar value is associated with it.  On the flip side, because girls know that you paid to message us, it makes us actually want to read your message.  Not to mention that it is totally flattering.

2) Invite-only.  That’s pretty self-explanatory.  Anytime you have an invite-only service, it creates a more exclusive environment and people tend to be more picky with whom they invite.

3) One-page profiles.  I hate the nonsense of personality questions and other redundant profile topics.  All the extra stuff should be left to in-person interactions.  The whole goal is to date offline…right?  I honestly don’t need to know how you would react if you saw a cat get hit by a truck.

4) They don’t want you to stay too long.  Most sites offer long term incentives hoping you’d keep renewing your membership.  That defeats the whole purpose of dating!  Sparkology focuses on the short term and makes sure you get the most out of their service as soon as you join.  They employ market-driven behavioral algorithms; meaning they analyze your real actions and interactions to learn who are the best candidates for you (like how Pandora finds you great music).

Sparkology is now exclusively inviting Singlefied readers to participate in the beta website, and after it is out of beta, you all get one month free.  I am unable to publicly post the code, but if you’re interested in checking it out, contact me or tweet me @SinglefiedYue and I will email you the code!  I just finished my profile yesterday and I gotta say, I dig the layout so far.  Looking forward to all of your feedback on the site. ***There are no more codes to hand out as Beta phase is over.  However, you can go through Singlefied’s special link to sign up for Sparkology and your application will be pushed to the front of the (VERY LONG) line!

The new MacBook Air, on sale for under $1000 at

A couple days ago, I was meeting up with some friends at my local bar.  One of the guys showed up with this hot young thing: long shiny hair, long luscious lashes, and long shapely legs.  Plus, she was sweet and easy going, drinking beers like it was nobody’s business.  I was proud and bewildered at the same time.  “How do you two know each other?” I asked.  “,” they replied in unison.  Apparently, she was on vacation from California and applied to be a couch surfer at his place in NYC.  A hot girl who requests to go home with you?  I’m sold.

What is  It’s a non-profit organization that helps people find places to crash when they’re traveling; it also facilitates cultural immersion in foreign countries.  Their vision statement: “A world where everyone can explore and create meaningful connections with the people and places they encounter.”  It’s set up like a social networking site where there are Hosts and Couch Surfers.  As a Couch Surfer, you can apply to Hosts who are available in the places you’re traveling to.  As a Host, you profile your living situation and conditions and choose which Couch Surfers you’d like to host.  Totally free for everyone involved.

Why should you use it?  Besides all the connecting-with-people-from-different-cultures-resulting-in-lasting-friendships fluff, it’s a great way to meet new hotties:

As a Host: You get to meet babes in “vacation mode.”  Studies show that people have more sex on vacations because they’re more carefree and horny when removed from their stale home environment.  These girls are not only staying with you, they’re looking to you to show them a good time.  There’s nothing sexier than a man taking charge and showing us his world.  And the best part? Now you have someone to visit in another state or country (given that you were a good Host).  *Disclaimer: I’m not saying you should expect to get sexy time with every hot couch surfer you host, but I am saying that the probability of hooking up is much higher than meeting a random at a bar.

As a Couch Surfer: You get to meet a chick you wouldn’t normally meet on vacation, and if she doesn’t float your boat, she can introduce you to the other hotties in her network.  You can then invite all of them to visit you(r pants) next time they’re in town.  Awww, what a nice guy you are.

So what happened to my guy friend who brought the long-legged hotness to the bar?  Nothing.  But it’s OK, because he just hooked up with his Ukrainian couch surfer.  Ласкаво просимо в наше ліжко! (WTF does that mean?)

In the words of my friend KD, “happy crotchsurfing!”

Make sure you’re in top shape for your hot couch surfer! recommends The Flex Belt, the only FDA-approved device proven to tighten, tone and strengthen your abs without crunches.

I spent the last couple of weeks escaping the NY heat in beautiful Los Angeles.  During my time there, I decided to do a little online dating myself, since I keep blogging about it.  I mean, I spend a lot of time evaluating people’s profiles, drafting messages, and hearing success/horror stories from girlfriends.  But, it has been since 2003 that I actually did online dating myself.  Some good ol’ ethnographic research was overdue!

Let me just say this: I think online dating is great for practice and for having a little casual fun.  However, I advise everyone to view it as a “layover” to a real relationship.  Here are some pros and cons:

It’s efficient so you don’t have to waste time at bars and clubs sorting through the “bad lemons.”
It’s great practice (some of my clients go on 5 dates/week just to hone in their skills).
All the cool kids are doing it.  There’s no longer a stigma attached to online dating.  It seems that everyone is on some site these days.
It can be fun.  Going “shopping” for a potential mate while buying toilet paper online is fucking awesome.  That shit never happens offline.

It breeds “serial daters.”  Online dating is addictive and once people start going on multiple dates, they get addicted to that idea.
It makes you think there’s always something better.  “What if I haven’t gone through all 600 matches and the best woman for me is the 589th match?  I cant settle for match #56.”
It makes you more insecure.  Women are bombarded with emails and most guys don’t get the response they want.  You guys have a better chance talking to a pretty girl in person (at a bar) than getting a response from her online.
It doesn’t make people want to settle down.  Online dating is like high school.  The Freshman class is always changing so there’s always “fresh meat.”
It takes the mystery out of organic dating Before you meet someone in person, you already know so much about them that you’ve already formed your own opinion and judgment.
It makes you overlook people you should be dating.  The most important thing in a profile is the picture.  Online daters tend to message the ones that are most attractive, not necessarily the ones that are in their league.  In an offline situation, a man is able to evaluate whether a woman is approachable or not.  He is also able to see his competition of men who are also talking to her.  But in an online situation, it creates a fake atmosphere where people think everyone is on an even playing field.  This is why a lot of men do not get the response they want!
The curse of the buffet Too many options doesn’t necessarily mean its a good thing.  Many people get overwhelmed and confused by their abundance of choices.  Eventually, the profiles start blending together and it’s hard to decipher who you really want to pursue.

So with that said, I want to introduce you to some winners I met (GUYS, IT’S REALLY NOT THAT HARD TO STAND OUT.  YOUR COMPETITION SUCKS ASS):

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I’ve been getting lots of questions about online dating lately, which makes perfect sense.  Summer is prime online dating season.  For those of you who’ve been online dating for a while, I’m sure you’ve noticed that the “inventory” in the summer is a lot better than in the winter.  So, I thought now would be a good time to give you a compilation of all the tools you’ll need to be a successful online dater.  And of course, if you need personalized help such as reviewing your profile, message drafting, etc, you can check out the services I offer.

1) Your profile pic: it’s the most important thing.  I recently saw a guy whose profile picture was him playing beer pong.  Dude, unless he’s the beer pong world champ, I can guarantee you no girl would ever click on his profile.

2) Try a niche online dating site Some of the bigger online dating sites are just a clusterfuck of random chicks who you have nothing in common with (except they have vaginas, and you like vaginas).  If you’re looking for a better response rate, it’s time to find your target audience.  My favorite is still HowAboutWe.

3) Personalized and targeted messaging Did you know the majority of your competition sends out general messages, such as “Hey, wanna chat?”  No girl wants to respond to that.  That’s what Live Links is for, dumbass. Like any good ad, you’ll get the best response rate if your messaging is personalized and targeted.

4) Don’t get carried away.  I call it “The Curse of the Buffet.”  Looking at too many choices is not always a good thing.  Know when you’re getting out of hand with your online “shopping” and serial dating.

Remember, the key to dating online is to take it offline.  If you find yourself spending more time sifting through profiles and IM’ing until 5am, you might as well be jerking off to porn.  Much better use of your time.


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Maybe you’ve exhausted all of your options on traditional online dating sites such as Match, OKCupid or eHarmony. So maybe now’s a good chance to think outside the box and try some non-traditional sites:

420 Dating

“Why Toke Alone?” the website claims.  That’s right, why should anyone smoke weed alone?  Weed lovers need human lovers too.  Also, dooood, what a gnarly way to arrest a bunch of people volunteering their illegal antics.

Cheek’d and FlipMe

Members get a stack of cards with their personal code.  When you see someone you like, you give them a card and they are directed to your online profile.  It’s a great way for women to protect their safety and men to protect their passive aggressiveness.  These companies claim they bring the offline online.  But once you’re offline, why wouldn’t you just stay offline?  Isn’t the whole point of going online is to bring people offline?  Also, I’m not down with the messages on these cards: “Mr & Mrs _____” “I’m playing easy to get” “I need a date to my sister’s wedding” and “emotionally available.”  How about just card that says, “I’m creepy.  You like?”


Dating site for World of Warcraft fans.  Let’s just say this: the ratio for guys is horrible, but the competition is in your favor.

Gorgeous Gamers

Gorgeous people who play video games.  I get that.  But who determines if you’re gorgeous or not?  If it’s self-identified, I’d be weary of the talent.  However, after a brief scope out, if Titties McNuggets is on here, you should dust off your controller ASAP.

Vegetarian Dating

FINALLY!  Someone get these motherfuckers off the normal dating sites for normal people.

How About We

You create a profile and propose a dating idea (“How about we go to the opera and have sex in the bathroom”) and members who are interested in your idea will message you.  You can also browse other people’s grand ideas.  It used to be purely blind dates, but now you can see pictures (all it took was for one ugly mofo to fuck this up).  As one of the fastest growing dating sites right now, I think this one is worth the try.


Sick of being stuck next to the smelly dude with an overactive bladder on a long flight?  Now you can be stuck next to a chick who can’t stop talking about herself.  Airtroductions matches your profiles with others on your flight or at the same airport.  It’s up to you to make the link while your flight is delayed 5 hours.

Daily Diapers

You both love wearing diapers, shitting in them, wiping each others’ ass, and then having sex on the changing table.  And now, you can find a gaggle of other adult babies to play with!  Hooray!


Using GPS, the mobile app connects you with other singles near your location.  What a great way to say, “I couldn’t score with any of the women at this bar, maybe I’ll have better luck with you, or as the French say, tu.”


Using their Facespin technology, you’re presented with photos that you decide whether you like or not.  If there’s a match, you’ll both be notified.  Also similar to Amazon, the more photos you judge, the more they’re able to customize members presented to you based on your taste.  I like it…if dating were as simple as judging photoshopped pictures.


A more sophisticated version of Craigslist’s “Missed Connections.”  Let’s say you meet a cute girl at Hoolihan’s but didn’t number-close.  You post your missed connection and cross your fingers you made the same impression on her, and that she knows what the hell Kizmeet is.  Eek.  On second thought, forget Hoolihan’s girl and how about just getting a number next time?

Women Behind Bars

We’re not talking about bartenders here, we’re talking inmates.  And you know what?  Inmates deserve love too, especially Vernice.

Scientific Match 

When they say chemistry is important in dating, they mean chemistry.  This $2000 service matches your DNA with other people’s DNA that are scientifically compatible.  Claimed benefits include: better sex life, less chance of infidelity, and healthier offsprings.  Your only risk is, your match could be a one-legged grenade.   But your children will be amazing.

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