Ask Miss Singlefied: You think your buddy’s girlfriend is wack. How do you tell him?

Posted: 08/15/2011 by Singlefied in Dating, How To
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Comments
  1. nathan says:

    I think you’re right in telling guys not to fixate on the “negative” aspects of the girlfriend, but it’s often a tricky issue. I have been on both sides of the equation. As one thinking a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend sucked. And also as someone disliked by the friends of my girlfriend. No matter what, there’s an impact on the friendship’s involved.

    One mistake people make is being too much of an “armchair therapist” or supporter of their friends. Which allows someone to bitch and moan on end about the partner if they’re having trouble, but often doesn’t encourage action. In other words, the steam needed to make changes gets blown off in conversation.

    In more recent years, when I have had a friend dating someone I don’t like, I try to balance out the support and listening, with simply shifting the conversations and activities we’re doing away from focusing on the person’s gf/bf. Sometimes, I have had to say things like “I’m probably not the best person to talk about these issues with.”

    Unfortunately, even that doesn’t always work. I have lost a few friendships because I wasn’t willing to listen to the same stories over and over for months and years on end.

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