Written By: Dick Lambert
I am torn at times between the sentimental notions of romance put forth by today’s romcoms, my insatiable lust to fuck like a rabbit, and the stark realization that sometimes I find women too much trouble to deal with on a romantic or even lustful level. Guys, let’s all admit right here right now if there did not exist the slightest hope of fucking any woman in our deranged mind, would we actually bother speaking with them? I sometimes more than others think the answer is no.
That very reason is what has at times led me to taking part the oldest profession in the world and I am not talking about politics. Yes, there certainly is a stigma around prostitution but I don’t think it really has impacted the business, no matter the economy, men still need to get their drink on and whores.
A friend and I were going to a strip club together around Christmas. Oddly enough my friend was married at the time to a stripper. Go figure. We really have no limit to our debauchery. We stopped at a nearby ATM when two blonde Brazilian women pulled up next to us in a black open top Jeep. Using very poor broken English they asked us where the club was we were about to head to. Patricia (her real name because really who gives a fuck, she is a whore) and her friend whose name escapes me as I didn’t fuck that particular whore, both followed us.
After the club closed we followed the girls and their pimp to their brothel apartment in a convoy of sin. I got Patricia because she spoke a little broken English and the other whore only spoke Portuguese. Patricia was young, with that amazing natural tan Brazilian skin that you want to run miles on with your hands, tongue, and dick. She was petite with small tits but an amazing Brazilian ass hung on that tiny fuckable frame like a masterpiece by Gauguin.
Same quick words of wisdom on whore fucking;
1) Trust your instinct if you think she is a diseased skank, she is.
2) Don’t be afraid to slow her down and take control as it’s on your dime. She just wants to get it over with. Slow her down, it’s your hour and it’s an hour, not a race, to make you cum.
3) This is your chance to get some freak on. She likely won’t say no, at worse charge you a little more. Gain some real world fucking experience and practice on that whore.
I slowed Patricia down and put her in doggie happily slapping that delicious rotund ass around. I was fucking like Santa Claus jingling this Latina ass like the dirty little reindeer she was, too much Christmas reference? One of the best things to do with a whore is to figure her out like a the puzzle all woman are and get her to cum. You do have an hour. Patricia started moaning and I started moaning. I heard my friend in the room next to me and his girl. I also heard the pimp probably in the living room getting his lemon squeezed by some other girl. Soon enough it became a symphony of moaning, then it became a competition between the three of us, and then finally it just became comedic to us all.
I heard my friend laugh and turned to see him and his girl standing there naked making moaning sounds. He suggested she help me and Patricia out. She got on the bed and started licking my balls as I continued to pound Patricia. The pimp walked through the room, smiled at us, and grabbed a towel, completely naked, so surreal. I tried to get my hours worth but with the frantic ball licking, Patricia’s perfect ass slamming into me, the natural warmth her body gave off, and my desire to end this weird situation brought me to a satisfying climax. I got my money’s worth, all of it BS free, no drama, no craziness and maybe Patricia one day bought a house or at least got herself some English lessons.
Singlefied does not advocate prostitution and asks you to respect your state laws.
SINGLEFIED 
Oh Dick. And that is why your name is Dick.