HOW TO: Spot a Liar on a Date

Posted: 04/08/2011 by Singlefied in Dating, First Date, How To
Tags: , , , , , ,

When I was a Freshman in high school, I dated a compulsive liar.  He told me he won the lottery where he would receive $850/month for the rest of his life.  He had a walk-on role on One Life to Live.  He had cancer but miraculously survived it by smoking cigarettes.  And no, he did not make out with the slutty skater girl who never wore a bra.  But guess what, he was 18, I was 14, I wanted to go to the Senior prom, so shit, I believed everything he said.  Good thing I didn’t give him my V-card!

Now I’m not as stupid (my mom would be so proud) because I’ve learned tested techniques to decipher whether someone is lying or not.  Since people do most of their lying on a first date, use the following steps to evaluate what’s really coming out of her mouth:

1) Get a date who has working eyes.

2) Ask her about her past.  It has to be a simple question that someone would have no problem answering without feeling like they were being judged.  Ex: “What was the name of your first pet?”  “What was it like growing up in ______?”  “What was it like when you first moved here?”  PAY ATTENTION TO HER EYE DIRECTION.  Does she keep looking left or right?  Keep note of it.

3) Ask her to imagine something.  Again, keep it simple and fun.  Ex: “Imagine yourself 5 years from now, what are you up to?”  “Let’s say you’re stranded on a desert island and can only take 3 things, what would you take?”  “If you could only eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be?”  AGAIN, PAY ATTENTION TO HER EYE DIRECTION (it should be the opposite of #2).  Keep note of it.

4) Ask her some real questions.  This is your chance to test her honesty.  If she keeps looking in the same direction as she did in step #3, she may be lying.  Looking in that direction denotes constructed visual (looking up), auditory (looking side) or internal (looking down) images.  Meaning, she’s making shit up using her imagination.  However, if she looks in the same direction as she did in step #2, she’s telling you remembered visual, auditory or internal images.  Chances are she’s being honest with you, because she’s recalling these images from memory.

Of course this is not 100% effective but I often use this technique on my clients when I first meet them, just to get a sense of whether they’re honest about who they are and what coaching they need from me.  On a date, you can also play Two Truths and a Lie as a fun ice breaker, and more often than not, when telling the one lie, her eye gaze will be in the opposite direction of the two truths.

And if the chick’s got a lazy eye or is cross eyed, check for some verbal and physical cues.

Happy weekend!  Now go call out some motherfuckin’ liars!

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