We Don’t Want Your Babies: Why Some Women Lack Maternal Instinct

Posted: 04/04/2011 by Singlefied in Dating
Tags: , , , , , ,

During this one particular girls’ night, my friend Bridget announced that her sister just had a baby girl and passed around a picture on her phone. After everyone had their turn ooohing and ahhhing the baby’s undeniable cuteness, our conversation came to a sudden halt…Laura finally broke the silence and blurted, “I don’t really want kids.” It seemed as if we discovered that ice cream was actually a vegetable because Laura’s sentiment was celebrated with a string of “Me neither,” “Kids are creepy, “ and “Fuck kids!” We then started to wonder why we all lacked that maternal feeling. You know, that feeling that women are suppose to have. It felt so…taboo. I used to date a guy who never understood why I shuddered every time I’d pass by a stroller in his kid-infested Upper West Side neighborhood. While he pictured pitching baseballs with his mini-me, I pictured wiping off throw-up from the Redrum twins. And come to think of it, I know so few chicks my age who truly want kids. I actually know more dudes who want kids than girls. After much discussion, we came up with a couple possible theories.

a) We are selfish. We have no room in our hearts to care about someone else more than us, OR
b) We are vain. We don’t want to end up looking like our mothers. We also don’t want discombobulated vajayjays, OR
c) We are scared. We fear that we’ll be fucked up mothers, because we are too busy dealing with our own shit, OR
d) [My favorite] We’ve been tricked by the birth control pill. The pill works by making our bodies think it’s pregnant. Because we are the generation that has been on the pill the longest, our bodies think it has been pregnant for years. According to my body, I’ve been pregnant for 10 years and probably had 13 kids by now. Body doesn’t want any more kids.

So I guess the next time you’re on a date, you can calm down because chances are, the chick is not picturing what your babies will look like. But it is also an important topic to discuss once you’re serious about someone. I’ve known so many relationships that go awry because two people are very adamant in their opposite stances on kids. It sounds like common sense, but the lesson here is: don’t assume every woman wants kids, just because she is a woman.

  1. Datingisms says:

    […] all women are dying to have your babies. LikeBe the first to like this post.▶ No Responses /* 0) { jQuery('#comments').show('', […]

  2. Des says:

    That’s a nice one. I do agree with u. But, most girls who don’t want kids, regret to have taken this decision too late when they can’t conceive anymore.

  3. B says:

    It’s probably all 4. As a guy, going on lots of dates, I’ve found that more often than not, it’s (a). Sadly, it’s not just that the girl shows she doesn’t have room in her heart for kids, she very quickly shows there’s no room in her heart for anyone (including the guy). (c) is understandable to everyone, (b) is unavoidable. Usually when I figure out it’s (a), I just let the girl be alone, she doesn’t really want to be in a relationship at all, much less have kids. A relationship/marriage/etc is just a loneliness/emotional checkbox for her to fill out. That’s just been my experience.

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