Organic Dating…and My Blind Date

Posted: 03/11/2011 by Singlefied in Dating, First Date
Tags: , ,

My friend from college emailed to ask if I would be open to going on a blind date.  Two things you should know about me.  1) The thought of dating exhausts me.  I date vicariously through you all and sometimes, that takes up all my energy.  2) I rarely blog about my personal dating life.  So, as I stared at this email, I started drafting a list of things I wanted to know about this mystery man before I made my decision.  What’s his name?  What does he look like?  How old is he?  What does he do?  Does he have cats? (I hope not) Does he eat meat? (I hope so) Where did he go to school?  When was his last relationship?  Where does he live?  And the list went on and on.

Then, I stared at this list and thought, when was the last time I went on an organic date?  What I mean by that is, meeting someone completely random, getting to know them, and getting asked out to go on a proper date.  I don’t know how other parts of the country work, but here in NYC, it seems that people don’t really date, they just fuck.  People who do date meet in very inorganic ways, such as online dating, where your first meeting has to be in the context of a date.

As I stared again at my list, I deleted every question but “What’s his name?”  Then, I remembered a story of my past.  This is a good one for you all.  When I graduated college in ’03, it was one of the worst years to find a job.  I decided to get a little creative and conducted a little experiment on name discrimination.  My name is Yue, very foreign/Asian/can’t-speak-English sounding.  Also, hard to pronounce by just looking at it.  What I did was that for each company I applied to, I sent out the same resume with 3 different names: Yue, Tiffany and Dalia.  Dalia was a shortened version of the street I grew up on.  Tiffany, because, well every Tiffany I’ve met has been pretty.  To my surprise, I received the most number of responses with Dalia, and the least responses with Tiffany.  I was hired with the name Dalia and remained Dalia for the following 2 years.  I even met my long term boyfriend with the name Dalia, so the people I met in that 2 year span still call me by my shortened street name.  Apparently, Dalia sounded less foreign than Yue but smarter than Tiffany.  Interesting.  Alright, that was a roundabout way of saying name discrimination exists, even in the dating scene.  With that said, I deleted “What’s his name?” and replaced it with, “Sounds great.  Just give me a time and a place, and I don’t want to know anything else.”

I want an organic date and if I can’t organically find one, I’m going to create it (kind of oxymoron, whatevs).  Going into this blind date with absolutely no expectations will be refreshing and if he sucks, I have nobody to blame except fate.

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Comments
  1. Datingisms says:

    […] don’t go on dates anymore, they just fuck. LikeBe the first to like this post.▶ No Responses /* 0) { […]

  2. […] is always changing so there’s always “fresh meat.” – It takes the mystery out of organic dating.  Before you meet someone in person, you already know so much about them that you’ve already […]

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