The Dating Stage: You In or Out?

Posted: 01/31/2011 by Singlefied in Dating, First Date
Tags: , , , ,

Remember in middle school, when you saw a cute girl wearing her hyper color shirt and slap band bracelet, who flashed you her panties during recess and thought, “I like her”?  And that was all it took to start going out with someone: simply liking each other.  Now, dating is a complicated hot mess that will never be as easy as dating that hyper-color-slap-bracelet-wearing hussy during recess.  Beyond looks, there’s chemistry, profession, family history, mental stability, place of residence, education, sexual compatibility…the list goes on and on.  But, the biggest hurdle we must all overcome above all else is the match-up in Dating Stage.

I can confidently say that everyone who is single is either getting in or getting out of something.  Nobody is completely single. There’s the lingering ex, long-time friend with benefits, gym crush, back-up chick, etc.  So imagine you’re in the “Just got out of a casual relationship” stage and you meet a girl who’s in the “Still considering lingering ex” stage.  You’re both fucked.

So what’s the solution?  First, you gotta identify which Dating Stage you’re at.  Most fundamentally, are you getting in or coming out?  Then, you should figure out what Dating Stage the girl’s at.  This should be divulged on the first date by asking the question, “What’s your situation?”  A girl will never admit that she’s trying to get over an ex or is getting serious with someone else, but you can find clues in her answers.  “I recently became single” translates to “I’m getting over an ex by dating as much as possible.”  “I date frequently, usually through friends of friends” translates to “I may be getting into something but I want to keep my options open.”  “I don’t really date, I just like meeting new people” translates to “I sleep around.”

Everybody will discuss their Dating Stage on a first date, you just have to listen and know how to translate.  Um, that’s why people hire me.  I’m like your personal Date-Talk-BS-to-English Translator.

The next step is to figure out if your Dating Stages are a good match.  That’s the easy part and once you know, it’s a good way to decide whether you want to move forward or not.

POP QUIZ: are you coming in or are you getting out?



  1. Datingisms says:

    […] can confidently say that everyone who is single is either getting in or getting out of something.  Nobody is completely single. LikeBe the first to like this post.▶ No Responses /* 0) { jQuery('#comments').show('', […]

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