HOW TO: Deal with Penile Performance Anxiety

Posted: 12/28/2010 by Singlefied in How To, Sex
Tags: , , , , , , ,

12% of guys are medically impotent but over 70% of men experience performance anxiety, which is not a disorder, more of a mindset.  The majority of us girls have encountered Mr. Softies every now and then.  There are several ways to deal with it next time your cock goes limp:

1) Acknowledge that you’re limp.  It’s surprising how many of you guys will ignore your sleepy cock and still attempt to penetrate.  Stop trying to rub your shriveled penis against our skin hoping it’ll wake up.  It’s best that you stop attempting sex and accept the fact that your mini-me is on protest.

2) Diagnose your problem.  Try to figure out why you’re suffering from Penile Performance Anxiety (PPA – yeah, I just made that shit up).  There are many contributing factors: you’re nervous, you’re stressed, you really like the girl, you’re too wasted, you’re no longer turned on, you’re insecure about the size of your penis, or an image of your Aunt Bertha just popped into your head.

3) Breathe.  A lot of times the lack of oxygen combined with nerves contributes to PPA.  Sexual energy is a natural flow and anxiety and nervous disrupt the flow.  If you breathe and relax yourself, it’ll be easy for you to get it up again.

4) Communicate.  Don’t apologize for your floppy penis, it makes you seem pathetic.  What you should do is offer an explanation to the girl.  Often times, we just assume you don’t find us attractive, which makes us self-conscious and less fun in bed.  If you offer us an explanation (“Listen, I had a stressful day at work.  I find you incredibly sexy and I think I just need to relax”), we’ll be impressed by your maturity and confidence, and take the blame off of us.

5) Offer a solution.  Like I said, most of the time PPA happens when you’re not relaxed.  Offer to give each other massages, extend foreplay, and take things slower.  If you feel comfortable doing so, ask the girl to rub your head (the one on your shoulders), this is the best way to calm your nerves.  When you feel like you’ve been rebooted, re-introduce some of your perversity.  The contrast between calm and horny will give you a boost of energy and increase in your blood flow, allowing your buddy to rise to the occasion.

6) Take preventative measures.  We often encounter guys, when hit with PPA, who say, “Shit, this happens to me every time I drink.”  Or “I usually have this problem when I first sleep with someone.”  If you see a pattern, do something about it!  If you know drinking makes you impotent, don’t drink as much.  If nerves are the problem, offer to do massages right before foreplay.

7) Know when you have a dead penis.  There is a huge difference between a dead and a floppy penis.  A floppy penis has signs of vitality.  A dead penis is completely lifeless.  If you have a dead penis, you should go see a doctor.  Erectile dysfunction cannot only affect your love life, but it can also affect your mental well-being.

  1. Datingisms says:

    […] apologize for your floppy penis, it makes you seem pathetic.  What you should do is offer an explanation to the girl.   LikeBe the first to like this […]

  2. […] How to Deal with Penile Performance Anxiety […]

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