Best Wingmen: Married Men & Gay Men

Posted: 12/14/2010 by Singlefied in Dating
Tags: , , , , ,

Consider this common scenario:

________________________________________________________________________________________

INT BAR.  GROUP OF HOT GIRLS STAND AROUND DURING HAPPY HOUR ENGAGED IN THEIR OWN CONVERSATION.  LOUD AND ANNOYING GUY APPROACHES THE GROUP.

ANNOYING GUY: “Hey ladies!  How’s it going?  You girls having fun?  How come some of you aren’t drinking?  It’s haaaaappy hour!”

GIRLS STARE AT HIM IN SILENCE AND EXCHANGE NOT-SO-SUBTLE DIRTY LOOKS WITH EACH OTHER.  MEANWHILE, ANNOYING GUY’S NORMAL FRIEND AWKWARDLY APPROACHES THE GROUP.

ANNOYING GUY: “Ladies, this is my buddy Jason!  He’s shy, so be nice to him!”

JASON: “Hi.”

GIRLS: (mumbling) “Hey.”

ANNOYING GUY: “What are you girls up to tonight?  Trouble?  I hope!  You ladies look like trouble!”

QUEEN BEE OF GROUP: “We’re actually on our way out.”

GIRLS PICK UP THEIR STUFF AND SIMPLY CHANGE THEIR LOCATION AT THE BAR.  ANNOYING GUY AND JASON PERFORM THE SAME ROUTINE ON THE NEXT GROUP OF GIRLS.  EPIC FAIL.

END SCENE

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It surprises me how many men choose the wrong Robin to their Batman.  It never works to have your loudest or ugliest friend to be a wingman.  We judge you by your friends.  Do you really want to be represented that way?  In my years of observing male pick-up successes, the best wingmen are 1) married men and 2) gay men.  Married men (those happily married) don’t pose a threat and they don’t give a shit about being rejected.  Also, the wedding ring helps break down any barriers with girls because we think the guy is harmless.  Unless he acts creepy.

The ultimate gem, though, is gay men.  First of all, have you ever seen a gay man hang out with ugly girls?  Very rarely.  Gay men love pretty things and they like to surround themselves with pretty people.  If you have a gay friend, ask to hang out with him and his girlfriends.  That’s the ultimate jackpot.  Or, bring your gay friend to a bar and have him approach the girl you’ve been eyeing.  We would not feel threatened at all by this approach and would love the fact that you’re not homophobic.  Another trick I’ve seen work is if a girl is out with her obviously gay bestie, ask the guy to introduce you.  This tactic is risky because you gotta have really keen gaydar, but the gay friend would serve as the best screener for his girl friend.  He would know if you have a chance with her or not, so if he likes you, he’ll be your biggest cheerleader.  If he thinks you suck, he’ll reject you.  Hey, it’s a lot better being rejected by a gay guy than the girl herself, right?

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Comments
  1. Datingisms says:

    […] never works to have your loudest or ugliest friend to be a wingman.  We judge you by your friends.  Do you really want to be represented that way?   LikeBe […]

  2. […] Find the gays.  I’ve always preached that the gays make the best wingmen.  Well, this is the perfect situation to use their powers.  They love it when straight men […]

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