I’m doing my usual “research” at a bar and in walks a group of guys. One of them is clearly the leader of the pack, confidently walks in first, first bumps the bartender, greets the room with a teethy smile, and leads his group to a table in the middle of the bar. This guy is an attention-getter and it is obvious that everybody in the bar notices him. I’m intrigued by this guy’s outer swagger and commit to observing him for the time being.
Then, in walks, as part of the group, guy #2, who immediately steals my attention away. My girlfriends, sitting next to me, are staring at him intensely. “Who is that?” I hear one of them ask. This man is not particularly that attractive, not dressed in any special fashion, but there is something about him. He quietly but confidently walks in, gives a subtle nod to the bartender, finds his friends and sits down. All in slow motion it seems. He’s intently listening to guy #1 loudly re-telling a story about some whiny bitch he had dumped. Guy #1 has just become a showy douche and guy #2′s inner swagger has stolen the show.
Outer swagger is easy to achieve because it’s like putting on a show. You dress the part, walk the walk, talk the talk, and there you go, you’ve just accomplished outer swagger. This guy is like the lead singer in a band. He’s the “face” of the group, the outgoing, social, and most (perceived) talented one. He thrives on attention and needs screaming girls throwing panties at him to reaffirm his confidence. Girls like him because he’s very noticeable, but we all know he’s a douche because he sleeps with all the groupies and brags about it. I bet he has a small penis and is overcompensating. And I bet he can’t be alone. Ever.
However, nobody gets more ass than the drummer, the definition of “inner swagger.” Sure, he’s usually tucked away in the dark corner, and you don’t even notice him until the leader singer verbally announces him. But once girls find him, we can’t keep our eyes off of him. He’s really into his drums and is passionate about playing them. He doesn’t need the lights and the abundance of attention, he just likes doing what he enjoys doing. He doesn’t feel the need to brag or show off, because he is so confident being who he is without the bells and whistles. I bet he has a huge cock. And I bet enjoys being alone. Better yet, he probably lives alone. Extra points for him.
When I think of a man with inner swagger, the best example is John Cusack. I’ve been obsessed with John Cusack since “Say Anything” and whenever I tell guys my celeb crush, the first reaction is always, “Really?! Him?!” Yup, John Cusack. No, he’s not that hot and he dresses like a bum, but that man is so confident just being who he is, he never has to prove himself to anybody. Actually, he doesn’t give a fuck what other people think of him. He’s never tried to live up to this celebrity status or is TMI about his personal life to woo the public. What you see is what you get, and that inner swagger is a panty dropper.
So when you’re headed out this weekend, ask yourself if you’d rather be the lead singer, or the drummer?