Posts Tagged ‘douche’

“Why do nice guys finish last?”  The age-old question.  And who usually asks it?  Whiny guys who have been screwed over by some biatch.  OK, let’s get a couple things straight.  There’s a difference between being “nice” and being a “chump.”  A guy who takes a girl on a weekend getaway within the first 2 weeks of dating = show-off chump.  A guy who ditches his friends to spend more time with his new girl = asshole chump.  A guy who lets his girl be retarded crazy = pathetic chump.

Playing the game to get the girl is about giving and taking.  The giving is the nice guy, the taking is the douche (if you will).  If you just give, you’re a chump.  And if you just take, you’re an asshole.  Striking the balance between giving and taking is a difficult skill but can be easily mastered if you develop enough self-awareness.  For example, the nice guy should always appear when you first meet a girl.  I mean, she has to like you first.  Then, just when she feels comfortable, you bring out the douche.  Nothing major but maybe stop calling for a couple days.  Or simply, stray away from your normal behavior.  This will make you seem mysterious and she’ll be eager to find out more.  That’s when you bring the nice guy back.  Nice dinner, maybe?

Also, you have to be strategic about setting up expectations.  I always give the example of a nice guy who only takes his date to fancy restaurants but one day suggests Applebees (btw, I love Applebees).  In the girl’s mind, he’s an ass for no longer making an effort.  When in reality, he just really likes the artichoke dip.  Then, you have the guy who only takes his date to fast food restaurants but one day also suggests Applebees.  In the girl’s mind, he’s sooooo nice for stepping it up and showing that he cares.  When in reality, he got a gift certificate for Christmas.  Obviously, these are extreme examples and I am in no way shape or form endorsing fast food restaurant dates, but you get the gist, right?

I think the guy who should be the poster child for this would be John Mayer.  The guy is not good looking but he bangs some of the hottest chicks in Hollywood (Jessica Simpson, Jennifer Aniston, Cameron Diaz, and now allegedly Giada).  He gives off the persona that he’s a nice guy with his fluffy, rainbows and butterfly lyrics.  But, the guy is also a douche.  As much as the girls hated him, they also loved him equally as much.

John Mayer may cum first, but he’ll never finish last.