Posts Tagged ‘dating timeline’

2011 was a great year for Singlefied. ¬†We officially launched the blog, created great partnerships, attracted worthy attention from the press, started the successful show Ask Miss Singlefied, and ended the year with a sexy write-up on Jackfroot.com.¬† But most importantly, we met you. ¬†Thank you for your support, feedback, stories and discussions. ¬†As a thank you, let’s review all the popular posts from 2011 that will make your dating life even better in 2012 [given that the world does not fucking end].

Who are you?

Get to know yourself: the good, the bad, the ugly.

How to stop being victimized as the nice guy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Where are you?

With each new year means movement in your Dating Timeline.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Who are women?

How do women think differently.

How to talk to her.

How she becomes attracted to you.

How to handle hot, bitchy women.

How to tell when she’s truly interested.

How to handle rejection.

Why she swallows.

 

 

 

What do women like in bed?

Learn from porn for women.

How to keep your dick hard.

 

 

 

 

 

Tools of dating:

Online dating

Speed dating

What colors to wear on a date

Handling the ex

Coping with heartbreak

The Creeper Sweeper

 

 

 

WARNINGS

5 things that won’t get you another date

Curse of the buffet (dating too many women at once)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SpeedDating(SM): A Timesaving Guide to Finding Your Lifelong Love

The Dating Timeline (Who You Should be Dating at Your Age)

Heartbreak and the Emotional Cushion

When She Swallows, What Does it Mean?

Top 5 Things that Won’t Get You A(nother) Date

The Curse of the Buffet: What Happens with Too Many Choices

 

 

I’ve spent years gathering the dating timeline of men and women, and this is a rough draft of what I’ve gathered.¬† For those of you who are graphically-challenged, this is how you read this chart:

If you’re not married by [insert age rage], this is what you’re thinking [insert words below age range].¬† Then follow the red arrow(s) to which women you should be dating.

Let’s go through each age range for males, shall we?

22-24: First couple years of out college feel so good.¬† You’re a man.¬† A real man.¬† Making real money.¬† Dude, you’re ready for a family because that’s what men do.¬† You should be dating —> 31-34 year old chicks because they’re real women, and they’ll make you feel more like a man.¬† Plus, they’re ready to get serious.

25-27: Your quarterlife crisis begins with you being screwed over by some chick who you thought could be wifey.¬† She did something terrible…maybe cheat on you, leave you for your best friend, or run off to Europe, never to be heard from again.¬† Fuck that cunt.¬† You want to stick your penis wherever you can, because it somehow feels like revenge.¬† You should be dating fucking —> 25-35+ year old chicks because they want your penis in them.¬† Especially the cougars.

28-30: The aftershock of the quarterlife crisis.¬† You want to give your cock a break and re-evaluate where you are in life.¬† Maybe this is a good time for a career change, go back to school or even relocation.¬† You’re ready to reclaim your role as a man again, and it would be nicer to have a woman by your side.¬† You should be dating —> 28-30 year old females because they’re going through the same thing.

31-34: The now improved version of you has reawakened your penile gallantry.¬† You may be balding and your gut may be growing, but shit, you’re making more money and your job title is impressive.¬† Your penis yearns for tight pussy and tight pussy you shall receive.¬† You should be dating —> 22-24 year old girls because they mistaken your age for maturity and power and 25-27 year old hussies because your “status” somehow makes them feel empowered.¬† Plus, they’re hussies.

35+: Dating crazy bitches when you were young was fun, but now you just don’t have the energy for it.¬† After the last 22-year-old faked her own suicide to get you to stay with her, you realize that you’re too old for this shit.¬† Marriage, all of a sudden, seems a lot easier.¬† You should be dating marrying —> 31-35 year old women because they’re worn out too.¬† Time to raise that white flag and give in to this institution called “marriage.”

Obviously, this is not representative of everyone, but it holds true for the majority of daters I’ve observed.¬† The one thing I would say is universal is the chronological order of the stages (given that you’re not married at each stage).¬† And the other thing that holds true is that NEVER seriously date a girl who has not gone through her slutty stage.¬† You’re just asking for heartbreak.¬† And herpes.

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