Happy Valentine’s Day guys!  Yay, another day reminding you that you’re single whether you like it or not.  I am currently in Beijing working on a couple dating-related (and some just for fun) projects.  The dating scene here is borderline absurd where men outnumber women 3:1 but expats know China to be a notorious easy lay.  Who knew such a conservative culture on the outside would hide so much promiscuity underneath.  Trust me, I could write a whole book on it (and I will).  And if you’re a guy not getting enough ass in the US, you should come to China.  But don’t expect “Me love you long time.”  It’ll be more like, “Me love you tonight or until I find out you’re dirt ass poor.”

OK, back to Valentine’s Day.  The topic of dating has become the most popular thing in China with hundreds of dating shows, matchmaking services, and online dating sites popping up by the second.  In the past, people traditionally met by being introduced by family or co-workers.  Now, young Chinese adults have taken on more non-traditional approaches to dating.  One of which is through the most downloaded app in China called Weixin, available for Android and Apple.

This free app is available in English and Chinese and after downloading it for only 2 days, I’ve already decided that it is perfect for the single and bored.  So the basic functions are:

• SMS anyone in your phonebook without using up your text message allowance
• Send instant audio messages (way better than voicemail)
• Send bulk messages
• Search for friends
• Find people within a 1000m radius through an advanced geo-location service

But here’s some of the kinky stuff you can do:

• Strike up a conversation with any of the strangers you find through the geo-location search.  Everyone has a profile pic and a brief intro so you can weed out the uglies.
• The “Shake” (摇一摇）function asks you to shake your phone and if other people (strangers or friends) happen to shake their phone at the same time, you’re instantly connected and can initiate a conversation with each other.  I was at a dinner where someone told me that her brother in Australia found his current girlfriend through this function.  Apparently, Weixin has reached more than 100 million shakes a day, meaning over 100 million strangers are connecting daily.
• My favorite is the “Drift Bottle” function, which can be really quirky and naughty.  You have two selections: 1) You write/record a message and “throw” it out into the cybersea, or 2) You pick up a random message and respond to the stranger if you choose to.  It may seem innocent enough but last night while using this function, I thought I was in the middle of some weird cyber porno.  I “threw” out the audio message “I love cake!” and got several replies along the lines of “Is it as yummy as you?” “I’ll eat it if it’s on you,” and the most forward, “I want to eat you.”  Now I’m dating all 3 guys.  (haha, j/k)

So there are 50 million Weixin users with the majority being between 22-30.  It helps if you know Chinese but many of the users are non-Chinese and/or know English.  But that may also be because I’m using it in China.  How about you guys try it in the states and tell me who you find?

And just a word of caution from my friend PK: people always look better as a thumbnail.  Make sure you ask for more pics before you meet up with these randos.

If you want to find more dating apps, check out Apps Magazine: The Best dating Apps

Results of the Dating Survey are in!  We had 100 participants: 41% female and 59% male.  The results are fascinating and somewhat surprising.

*In the survey, participants were asked to give their demographic info (age, location, occupation, employment status, relationship status and sexual preference) and then rank the following qualities in order of importance when evaluating a potential mate: Looks, Personality/Sense of Humor, Job/Salary, Intelligence/Education, and Good in Bed.  Then they were asked to answer the same question according to how they think their opposite sex would respond (this question was added after the survey launched so 10% of participants did not get to answer this question).

Key: L=Looks, P=Personality/Humor, J=Job/Salary, I=Intelligence/Education, G=Good in Bed

Underlined letters=no statistically significant difference between the two attributes; in other words, the attributes are tied.

1) OVERALL FINDINGS

WE LOOK FOR SIMILAR QUALITIES

…BUT WE DON’T THINK WE DO

In order of importance, men chose PLIGJ, while women chose PILGJ 

• Both men and women consistently ranked PERSONALITY as Most Important and JOB/SALARY is Least Important.
• Both men and women ranked INTELLIGENCE as more important than GOOD IN BED.

Implications:

MEN ARE LESS SHALLOW THAN WOMEN THINK

• Women thought men would rank LOOKS as Most Important, and would put more value on GOOD IN BED than INTELLIGENCE.  However, men ranked LOOKS as less important than PERSONALITY, and put GOOD IN BED as the 2nd to Least Important (JOB).

WOMEN VALUE SEX MORE THAN MEN THINK

• Men thought women would rank GOOD IN BED as Least Important, while women ranked it as IMPORTANT, tying with LOOKS.

2) FINDINGS BY DEMOGRAPHIC

UNDER 30: MEN AND WOMEN LOOK FOR EXACTLY THE SAME QUALITIES

(PILGJ vs. PILGJ)

However, women thought men would put INTELLIGENCE as unimportant, while men reported INTELLIGENCE to be as important as LOOKS (tied for 2nd most important).  Also men thought women would put INTELLIGENCE as unimportant and JOB/SALARY as Somewhat Important, while women reported just the opposite.

Implications:

Under the age of 30, men and women aren’t as shallow as both parties believe each other to be.  In fact, both parties put LOOKS as  only “Somewhat Important.”

AFTER 30: MEN AND WOMEN DIFFER THE MOST IN WHAT THEY LOOK FOR

(PLIGJ vs. PIGJL)

• Women put a little more emphasis on GOOD IN BED than men.
• Women found LOOKS and JOB/SALARY to be interchangeable for Least Important.

Implications:

Women crave good sex more than men do after 30; makes sense since women reach their sexual peak at 30.

AFTER 30: WOMEN CHANGE WHAT THEY LOOK FOR BUT MEN DO NOT

(WOMEN WENT FROM PILGJ TO PIGJL)

• Women over 30 ranked GOOD IN BED higher than LOOKS, which was the opposite for women under 30.
• Women under 30 reported LOOKS to be interchangeable with GOOD IN BED for Important.  However, women over 30 reported LOOKS to be interchangeable with JOB/SALARY for Least Important.

Implications:

Women under 30 made mistakes sleeping with hot guys thinking they’d also be hot in bed.  They’re correcting their mistakes in their 30′s.

UNEMPLOYED MEN HAVE A BETTER IDEA OF WHAT WOMEN WANT THAN EMPLOYED MEN

• Unemployment men were right in guessing women would put INTELLIGENCE as more important than LOOKS and GOOD IN BED.  Employed men thought the opposite.

Implications:

Unemployed men have more time and energy to get to know women better?

REGARDLESS OF DEMOGRAPHIC, WOMEN ARE CONSISTENT WITH WHAT THEY THINK MEN WANT.  MEN ARE NOT.

(WOMEN CONSISTENTLY THOUGHT MEN WANTED LPGIJ)

• Except for slight differences that are not statistically significant, women had the same mindset in terms of what they think men want regardless of age, employment status, occupation, geographic location, and relationship status.
• Men consistently changed what they thought women looked for depending on demographic.

Implications:

Women are stubborn about what they think men want.  Men are constantly trying to figure out women.  In reality, women think they know men but they don’t.  Men just have no clue and they know it, too.

WOMEN CHANGE WHAT THEY’RE LOOKING FOR BY AGE; MEN CHANGE WHAT THEY’RE LOOKING FOR BY OCCUPATION

• This was probably the most interesting finding for me: although overall men stayed consistent in what they looked for in women, their occupation was a factor that motivated the most drastic changes.  In the survey, I had people write-in their occupation.  I didn’t have an efficient way to show the data but it was apparent than men in Finance looked for different qualities than those in Education, and those in Education differed from those in Tech, and etc.

Implications:

When it comes to dating, men are most affected by changes in occupation and status.  Women are most affected by aging.  Thus, the phenomenon of The First Wives Club: women who marry men at the beginning of their careers and when the men reach professional success, they divorce their first wives for younger, hotter chicks.  

3) DEEPER FINDINGS

I had the pleasure of interviewing some of the survey participants and found some more interesting implications.

MEN VIEW WOMEN AS STEP LADDERS;

WOMEN VIEW MEN AS SPIDERWEBS

• Both men and women had a hard time ranking the attributes but for different reasons.  The male participants told me this: “For me to be interested in a woman, she has to be attractive and have a good personality.  Without these two qualities, I don’t want to even know how she fares in the other 3 attributes.”  So, I see it as a step ladder.   If a woman doesn’t have the first steps (PERSONALITY and LOOKS), she’s a broken ladder.  A guy doesn’t want to go up a broken ladder, regardless of how stable and well-built the rest of the steps are.

• Women found it hard to assign importance to the attributes because as some said, “They’re all important!  Since I was forced to rank them, I had to give an answer, but in reality, if a guy has a really amazing career and not a great personality, I’d work on him.”  Think of it as like a spiderweb.  You may lack the bigger pieces, but the smaller webs will still hold the web together; it won’t fall apart.   Women are willing to work on men like a project, in hopes of strengthening the missing pieces to weave a perfect web.

4) LESSONS LEARNED

MEN: STOP TRYNG TO GUESS WHAT SHE WANTS.  SHE MAY NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS.

• It was really hard for me to find definitive results when filtering just the women’s responses.  The truth is, women are probably as indecisive as we’re stereotyped to be.  Isn’t that why we’re bad at multiple choice tests?  So men, the time you spend trying to read her should really be time spent on bettering and perfecting at least 1 of the 5 attributes.  If you can grab her with a stellar quality, you’ve already got her in your web.  And BTW, women want good sex, so give to them.

WOMEN: MEN ARE AS SIMPLE AS THEY SAY.  FOCUS ON BEING NICE AND PRETTY.

• Although men are less forgiving when it comes to LOOKS and PERSONALITY, at least they’re definitive and realistic.  They want you to be pretty to look at and fun to talk to.  Our struggle for equality is not their struggle.  They’re not turned on by your professional status (that you beat hundreds of other men for) and they don’t want to masturbate to your Ph.D. degree.  Those are things you should be proud of, but not things you should resent men for dismissing (“But I’m such a good catch!”).

And if you haven’t already, read Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships

I highly recommend this book by Dale Carnegie: How To Win Friends and Influence People

I highly recommend this book by Dale Carnegie: How To Win Friends and Influence People

10. Surround yourself with success stories

Misery does love company so hanging out with your loser friends, who think women are the devil, is probably not the best way to start off 2012.  People take on the mindset of the characters they surround themselves with.  Have you ever noticed that you eat a lot more around your foodie friends?  Or drink a lot more around your alcoholic buddies?  It’s called “groupthink,” a social phenomenon where groups reach social consensus without good reasoning.  It’s something that happens psychologically with all us in group situations.  So, if you’re going to experience groupthink, why not experience it with happy, successful people?  2012 is the year to be selective about who you hang out with the most.  Is it your buddy Tom who can’t over “that bitch” or your coworker Dave, a former douche who is dating an awesome girl with even more awesome single girlfriends?

9. Don’t hold on and don’t lead on

This is where I firmly stand: feelings are either there or not.  Feelings and chemistry cannot be manufactured.  This is why sometimes we have feelings for people we should’t have feelings for.  It’s out of our control.  So, there’s no hope in forcing chemistry with anybody.  If the girl you’ve been pining after has already told you she’s not interested, I can 100% guarantee you she’s still not interested.  2012 is not the year for you to convince that girl that you would treat her like a princess.  That girl don’t give a shit.  This is the year to let go.  Have you closed the Ex Files?  If your answer is, “Yes, we just meet up occasionally to catch up,” then I don’t want to talk to you anymore.  You obviously do not understand what “closing the door” means.

Similarly, if you’ve been leading a girl on, sure it’s fun and games, but you know you’re hurting her feelings, too.  We all like to surround ourselves with people who like and admire us.  But that’s what friends and stalkers are for.  Not the poor girl who poured her heart out to you.  Let. her. go.

8. Constantly improve yourself

I had a really interesting conversation with my good friend B the other day.  He’s been in NYC forever and used to be quite the playa, like Dick Lambert level.  When I first moved to NY 7 years ago, B used to play this game called “Shampoo.”  Similarly to how you shampoo, the suds would build up to a bigger and bigger lather.  Well, B would literally take a girl out on a date, and while on the date, hit on a hotter girl.  And while on the date with the hotter girl, he would hit on an even hotter girl.  I’ve personally witnessed him do it a couple times and was compelled to give him a plaque.

Recently I was out with B, and he said this to me, “Just the satisfaction of knowing I could sleep with that chick [points at hot girl] is good enough.  Frankly, I’d rather go home early, avoid waking up next to someone I’m never going to call, and actually get my ass to the gym in the morning.”  B now looks better than ever and even took up Spanish lessons.  Instead of wasting his time on girls that were nothing but a hot piece of ass, he made himself into a hot piece of ass.

How can you improve yourself this year?  You can always be smarter, fitter, richer, cooler, nicer, and just overall better.

7. Act your age
The Peter Pan Syndrome is only cute around your mom, and even she may want to slap you sometimes.  If you’re in the I-Don’t-Know-What-I’m-Doing age bracket, then fine, you be a dumbass and nobody’s gonna judge.  But if you’re a grown ass man pulling a Benjamin Button, nobody’s going to have sympathy for your dating woes.  The fact is, you know exactly how you’re suppose to act at your age.  The “I’m a 22-year-old trapped in a 30-year-old’s body”?  Not hot.  What is hot is the 22-year-old trapped in his 22-year-old body.

We, women, want to date a man who acts his age.  It’s really not too much to ask.

6. Start new adventures
Dating is a lot more fun if you see it as a series of adventures.  Remember the first time you and your buddies went on a roadtrip to nowhere?  Or when you decided to discover a new route to work?  Those are adventures.  Those are the times when you didn’t know what to expect but you were excited about the unknown.  Dating should be the same.  That girl who’s standing behind you at Starbucks?  She’s a new adventure.  I wonder why she has jogging gear on in the middle of the day on a Tuesday.  And that seemingly quiet girl you met at last weekend’s house party?  She’s a new adventure.  I wonder what really makes her tick.  Adventures are about learning and EVERYONE can teach you a thing or two.

5.  Stop playing the victim
Everybody comes with a disclaimer.  ”Emotionally-damaged, questionably-distant with a streak of douchiness.”  I’m a big fan of disclaimers because it’s an honest approach to dating.  However, what is not healthy is using disclaimers to excuse your behavior or your unfavorable situation.  Let me tell you that almost every client I’ve had opens up the conversation with, “I just got out of a really bad relationship,” or “My family is fucked up,” or “I’ve had to support myself all my life…” and then finish the sentence with, “and that is why I’m an asshole,” or “that is why I can’t have healthy relationships.”  I get it, we’ve all been through shit and it makes for our strengths and weaknesses.  However, victimizing yourself will only make you lazy and complacent.  You’ll always have something else to blame other than yourself.  Having emotional baggage is like having a handicap.  But, does the one-legged man not go on the treadmill because he only has one leg?  No, he fucking finds a way.  Does the deaf lady stop playing music because she can’t hear?  No, she fucking finds a way.  So, does the guy with a dysfunctional family avoid starting a family of his own?  No, he fucking finds a way to start a better family.  We are human beings and it is in our power to morph, cope and transform.  Your life challenges and hardships are there to strengthen you for the road ahead, they’re not there to excuse the road you’re stuck on.  Move forward.

4. Be open to change
Your dating life may be less than favorable because everything’s the same.  If you keep plugging in the same formula, you’re going to keep getting the same result.  1+1 will always equal 2.  So let’s take a lesson from basic algebra and change the variables.  Find the variables that are the most negative in your life.  Is is the bumblefuck town you’ve been in for 10 years?  Is it the hellish job that causes you to drink gallons of alcohol?  Or maybe it’s the same circle of childhood friends who’ve now married their cousins and had ugly babies?  2012 is a year for change and you gotta be open to it.  Once your variables change, your outcome is guaranteed to be different.

3. Be respectful and respectable
I don’t need to elaborate much on this; it’s common sense.  You should always treat others with respect, even if it means hurting them or putting them in an undesirable situation.  Being a respectable human being can only yield respectable dating results.

2. Be a MAN
I don’t blame some of you for forgetting to be a man sometimes.  This society is so focused on gender equality, that it forgot to emphasize the importance of being a man.  The role of the man is often overlooked and undermined.  That has to change.  But YOU should still focus on fulfilling your manly role. There’s a great website called The Art of Manliness that focuses on manly things not just in relationships, but in every aspect of your life.  What makes us as women attracted to you is the fact that we can’t be you.  We can’t be men.  We’ll never be men.  That is why your manliness is sexy and admirable.  We want you to take your stance, smell like a man, take charge, claim your woman, show your strength, acknowledge your weaknesses, and fucking manhandle us like there’s no tomorrow.  Pound your chest and have something to show for it, Tarzan.

1.  DON’T BE A DICK

There’s a big difference between having a big dick and being a big dick.  You have a choice in the latter.  Choose wisely.

How To Be a Man: A Guide To Style and Behavior For The Modern Gentleman

Written By: The Unsung Romantic

Her Codename: Mini-Carrie Bradshaw

Category: Fairy Tales

I know what you might be thinking. Any time that a girl uses the word “big” and associates it with a man, the first thought is that she must truly be referring to the size of our penis. What else could it be? On the other hand, there is the dreaded “big teddy bear,” which in lies the problem that you are nothing more than a cuddly, wuddly safe friend who in our male psyche we do not always grasp and still believe that even a teddy bear can get laid. The truth is that when this mujer stated the words to me, “You’re so like my big …”, she was referring to the television bible for women of the last decade – Sex and the City (SATC). 

My reactionary internal monologue – “%^&$! that god damn whore of a show and the incurable STD it gave this city.”

Yes, I know who Mr.  Big  is in that dreaded show.  Just like all good soldiers I was dutiful and watched this crap over the course of its never ending run through the scores of SATC influenced girls I dated. Not only was I dutiful, but three steps ahead of the game on female counter intelligence operations. I usually save this for the end, but here is a quick piece of advice: Watch the show, plus the two movies. On top of that, make sure every time you are at the doctor’s office or at any location where females are the primary customer, read Cosmo. Do you think I am crazy? I am not fucking joking around with this. Cosmo, was the old SATC and in a strange universe, they’re  both one in the same. The array of misinformed, subjective and irrational advice given in that monthly rag, coupled with a decade of Carrie Bradshaw and her inconceivable escapades have transformed the landscape of rational (if there ever was such a thing) expectations women (girls) expect of men (not boys).

Look, we can get into a whole debate about how that show empowered women across the country (especially carpetbagging transients who moved here from middle-America in search for the glamorous city life,), but this kind of crazy manifestation of a new breed of women has nothing to do with the show being a top-notch production. It was, I tip my cap to that. It’s about the drowning effect it had on millions of women who are between the ages of 25-40 in present day. It created a false sense of reality. It made all of us fellas into living, breathing embodiments of all the male characters in that show. It made us men to be fictional beings. And for an unknown percentage of the women who watched the show, it turned them back into little girls in search of the great knight on his white horse. I’ve dated a lot of these women retarded into girls, but it was this one particular Big incident that made me realize I had two choices: 1) Either be her “Big” and let her ride out the fantasy, or 2) Convince her I am not “Big”, but I’m better than him and I’m real.

So yes, I know very well who Big is, but I still  have no idea what that fucking means to this day. Do you? Maybe you can help out on this one. Here are my quick  theories on what the incarnations of real world “Bigs” are:

Big 1: I’m a perpetual commitment-phobe. When the kitchen gets to hot, I toss her a fire extinguisher and dash for the nearest fire escape. I’m never around when she needs him. I’m sensitive to her cries at night, but only from a phone call or text away – never in person. I just don’t want anyone controlling my life. I am not cheater, but I need eternal autonomy and distance when I please.

Big 2: Charming. Dashing. Loving. Shares all my adventures with her. Make her feel as if she is the only girl in the world. Tell her she’s the most perfect thing he has ever met in my life, but … I won’t ever get married.

Big 3: I’m in love with women. Not one, but many. She wants me to be just in love with her, but she cannot change me. She knows I am this way, but will refuse to leave me. She hates me and she loves me equally. I can only show love for her, but she cannot understand how I can love so many. I must just hate her.

Big 4: I love her. I want marriage, but not now. I want children, but not now. I want to divert my energy from my career to my future wife, but it’s not time yet. I don’t want, think or flirt with the idea of another, but she tells me that can’t be because I am a man. I believe we live slow, beautiful lives, but we are moving too fast now for that to be. I love her and will marry her, but just not now, therefore I don’t really love her enough.

The truth is all of those versions of “Big” have a lot of truth in how these girls, maybe even women, see us. It’s their projections of how they want us to be so their insecurities, fears and emotions remain unhinged by the reality of a real guy in the world. You see, the television show ended with Carrie quietly winning over Big over the course of many years, therefore never having to doubt that he may still have been one of those guys mentioned above that will do nothing more than break her heart. It’s that fairy tail many girls want to live.

It’s the tail that beauty can control the beast, with one major difference in the stories. Beauty never changed who the Beast was, she just unveiled the real him. Carrie did end up changing Big, which only will lead to one thing … the return of the real Big.

I said above that I had two choices: 1) Either be her “Big” and let her ride out the fantasy, or 2) Convince her I am not “Big”, but I’m better than him and I’m real. I chose number 2 and that eventually led to the end, but she still does contact me. Why? Because this “Kind of Crazy” is the fairy tale kind who will forever see her life as the greatest drama ever told in story. Your choice is whether you can handle the crazy of a fictional tale for the sake of love or show her that non-fiction is a much better story because it hasn’t been written yet.

Background Check: Mini-Carrie Bradshaw also ended up being a fan of another great work of art, Grey’s Anatomy. Drama knows drama.

Do you have a “That’s Kind of Crazy” you want to share? Spill it and we’ll tell it.

Cheers,

The Unsung Romantic

He’s right, every dude should study up on Sex and the City to know what kind of bullshit they’re feeding women these days

5. “The Reality TV Effect”: Why sometimes an amazing date doesn’t necessarily mean she likes you

4. The Friend Zone: How to get out before it’s too late

3. How to handle rejection

2. How can you tell when she’s playing hard too get; sending mixed messages

1. The Nice Guy: It’s not about being too nice

 
How To Get The Girl | IGNORE and SCORE: Dating Mindsets Explained – How To Attract And Date Beautiful Women

Who are you?

Get to know yourself: the good, the bad, the ugly.

How to stop being victimized as the nice guy.

Where are you?

With each new year means movement in your Dating Timeline.

Who are women?

How do women think differently.

How to talk to her.

How she becomes attracted to you.

How to handle hot, bitchy women.

How to tell when she’s truly interested.

How to handle rejection.

Why she swallows.

What do women like in bed?

Learn from porn for women.

How to keep your dick hard.

Tools of dating:

Online dating

Speed dating

What colors to wear on a date

Handling the ex

Coping with heartbreak

The Creeper Sweeper

WARNINGS

5 things that won’t get you another date

Curse of the buffet (dating too many women at once)

SpeedDating(SM): A Timesaving Guide to Finding Your Lifelong Love

Written By: Dick Lambert

Sorry, I haven’t been posting my adventures recently. I am going to catch you all up and also say goodbye, as this will be Dick’s last post.

I recently, had a house guest for a few weeks. A friend of mine from high school is getting divorced and he needed some time to recharge his testosterone at my man cave. Nothing cures a discouraged heart better than getting right back on top of or behind another woman, so we set out with Operation Wingman.

Operation Wingman has a few key ingredients: one is a dive bar where the drinks are good n cheap, two the women are plentiful, and three a friend who knows the fine art of wingmanship. I was looking forward to helping Ned out because he was going through a tough time, while he is handsome, Ned is an awful closer. Plus Ned hadn’t really seen the full Dick in action so I was going to show off a bit.

We hit the bar at 11:30 pm enough time for anyone there to have already gotten a buzz on. Ned eyed two women he was interested in and in a brazen move walked right up one and started chatting her up. Ned was just plowing through trying to be bold. I had to rescue him as he was like a bull in a fine china shop. Once I reared him in and helped him get his drink on we casually saddled up next to his second pick, let the games begin!

I wish I had a good name for this particular wingman technique, your suggestions are welcome. I played to perfection the role of funny but obnoxious friend that goes a little to far. I started the ice breaker off by talking about an unusual viewpoint on the movie Forrest Gump. I then poll those around us, lo and behold the woman Ned is interested in. No matter what her opinion I tease her, disagree, and bust her as much as possible in a playful manner. The wingman is great because you are loose and on your game because you don’t care, there is no pressure for yourself. I say playing the wingman role is great practice in general for picking up woman. Now, here comes the tricky part, you want to make Ned seem smarter, funnier, and a better choice. You do not want to flip her to yourself that usually causes problems between you and Ned. I make sure this doesn’t happen by occasionally pushing things in the kidding around a little to far and there is Ned to rescue her, offer her a smoke outside, another drink, and a dance all to rescue her from my sinister clutches.

Ned is such a bad closer that he goes outside for a smoke without her. I tell her straight out look what you have done. My good friend from way back is outside by himself, smoking while you are in here being made fun of by me. I think there has to be some sort of rule that you aren’t following, do you leave your girlfriends alone to brave the women’s room alone? Im pretty sure you aren’t suppose to leave Ned alone. She complies because by this time she knows the dynamics of our group, I’m the funny but obnoxious one, Ned is the very funny (laugh extra hard when you are the wingman), employed traveler.

By the end of the evening I invite all to the diner for some grease to settle stomachs. I of course make up some outlandish reason my car is full and I have to stop home so Ned and her will have to ride together. They never make it to the diner and Ned gets his freak on at her place for the next three days; my man cave is mine alone!

I have also been hard at work breaking into an ex’s new circle of friends at belly dancing class. I have met the women after class at the local bar on two occasions. I have shown I am funny, smart, tall, handsome, man of means who can thrive in a pack of sexually aggressive liberated belly dancing women. My X is doing her part of the wingman by downplaying we use to go out ages and ages ago. I’m torn between two of her friends. The belly dancing instructor herself or the young Latin gal. I even come to the performance showcase and afterwards close the dance floor with them. By the way this is the best advice about dancing with a woman I have ever seen.

I start a little dance circle, a little conga line, and just have silly fun. The young Latin girl is into me and the belly dancing instructor takes every opportunity to check me out, impressed I can have fun dancing. I eventually choose the young Latin woman, Marisa.
I figure I can always come back to the dance instructor.

I bring all the A game to my first date with Marisa. Our first date is the gun range and drinks or what I like to call Shooting and Shots (in that order always!). If you have never shot a rifle or pistol before you should go with some of your friends. It makes for a fun first date because its exciting, you can show off a little, on a primal level guns are sexy, men who can handle themselves with a firearm is sexy, and a woman with a gun is sexy, its win-win. I also like the gun range because you can have a lot of fun with body language and some non-creepy touching. Help her grip the pistol, help her spread her legs even with her shoulders, shift her hips to the side, look down sight, control your breathing, and lean into the recoil. Afterwards we are doing shots high on the excitement from the range and then down the street from her parents’ house, making out in my car.

Here comes the part where I explain why this is my last post. I got a lot of high fives from Ned, my other friends, and some great feedback from our readers, and of course Miss Singlefied herself. Meanwhile, through this I started dating this one woman who I met online. I’m not going to even make up a name for her here. We have been on three dates and haven’t even hooked up yet. Out of all the ladies: Marisa, belly dancing instructor, and the others along the way I’m more myself around her, I make all the mistakes I implore you not to make in my previous posts. I think I have reached a time where I find if I play the game too well I outplay the organic development of any real connection or feelings. Marisa and I played a perfect game but it wasn’t much of a challenge, I wasn’t being myself, I was really just Dick Lambert looking to win and score, somehow more and more it feels unnatural and I feel alone. By playing the game too much and too well you play yourself out of romance and love, like the difference between a delicious homemade cherry pie and a diet artificial supermarket cherry pie if there was such a thing.

Playing the game is fun, but with the girl who really matters, you just have to play yourself. Gentlemen, it has been an absolute pleasure.

Happy New Year.

I was recently interviewed and profiled by JackFroot.com.  I promised I wouldn’t hold anything back.  And I didn’t…

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Up Close and Personal with Miss Singlefied

STAN KARR YEUNG
If Will Smith’s character from the 2005 movie Hitch were a real person, he would be a she, and she would be Chinese and hot. Everything else is pretty much the same, minus the story line and plot, actually only the part where Hitch helps guys with dating advice is the same.

Read the rest here

How To Get The Girl | IGNORE and SCORE: Dating Mindsets Explained – How To Attract And Date Beautiful Women