Archive for the ‘Your Appearance’ Category

Never thought an ass could look so gay, but they sure do in douchey designer jeans.  We like fashionable men but an embellished ass does not equal fashionable.  Just today some of my girlfriends were vehemently hating on men in Sevens and Rock & Republic jeans.  The only thing more tacky would be an Ed Hardy t-shirt.  And if you’ve got a combination of all of the above, you should just change your name to Jon Gosselin.

Girls allow guys to get away with a lot when it comes to fashion: baggy jeans, sweats, dirty shoes, deep V-necks.  But, there is one item of clothing that we will not allow –> TURTLENECKS.  There’s something very unmanly about the way turtlenecks look on guys, not to mention that it makes you look shorter by hiding your neck.  So your neck is cold?  Invest in a scarf, dude.

 

Manscaping

Posted: 12/25/2010 by Singlefied in Your Appearance
Tags: , , ,

95% of guys manscape and as you should.  Girls definitely appreciate a well-groomed man but there is such a thing as over-groomed.  My friend Yvonne recently slept with a guy who was completely hairless.  She felt like she was hooking up with a 12-year-old boy.  The degree of manscaping is totally up to the preference of each individual girl, but there are some common likes and dislikes.  MUSTS: get rid of uni-brow (tweezing is easiest), wax long back and butt hairs (no negotiating there), trim pubic hair (doesn’t need to be shaved, but should be less jungle-like).  LIKE TO HAVE’S: neat chest hair (doesn’t need to be completely bare, but should not be crawling out of your shirt), shave knuckles and toes (it’s so easy to do in the shower, why not just do it?), trim nose hairs (some of you older gentlemen seem to have bushes growing out of your nostrils).  UP TO YOU: wax happy trail (some girls like a smooth glide but others prefer a rugged feel), shave legs (many guys claim that this feels amazing in bed).

Whatever you choose to do, manscaping should be an important part of your weekly routine.  People mow their lawns and landscape to make their homes seem more inviting.  You should do the same to make your junk more welcoming.

It’s no secret that women like tall guys.  And frankly, tall guys can get away with a lot.  I’ve seen many not-so-good-looking guys get hot chicks simply because they’re 6’3″.  I’ve also seen a lot of really good looking guys who don’t get enough hot chicks because they’re 5’8″.  So, let me break it down for you.  No matter how short we may be, if you’re 5’8″ and under, you’re considered short.  If you’re 5’9″-5’10″, you’re acceptable.

Why are we so harsh when it comes to height?  We like looking UP at guys, because it makes us feel feminine and petite.  There’s also a sense of security and safety when we’re in the arms of a statuesque body.   Plus, girls love wearing heels when they’re out.  You’ve all seen it, a 5’3″ shorty can transform into a 5’8″ supermodel in some stripper heels.

Now, what can you do if you’re short?  First and foremost, stand up straight!  Good posture will add at least an inch.  Then, just like how girls can push up our boobs, suck in stomach fat and conceal blemishes, you can also “fake” your height.  Try some height-enhancing insoles.  Some can increase your height by as much as 2″.  Is it kind of deceiving and somewhat “bait and switch”?  Sure.  But if once you reel us in and you don’t complain about our saggy boobs and muffin top, we won’t complain about you, Napoleon.

On that note, one of girls’ biggest pet peeves is the Napoleon Complex – short guys trying to overcompensate for their lack of height by over-flaunting their ego.  It’s not a surprise that the most obnoxious guy at a party or at the bar is the shortest guy there.  You know who you are and we find you annoying.  Check your ego at the door and invest in some insoles instead.

What Girls Notice About You

Posted: 12/10/2010 by Singlefied in Dating, Your Appearance
Tags: , ,

Last night I was out with a group of friends and we started checking out the guys and girls who populated this swanky midtown bar.  My guy friends immediately started commenting on how nice this girl’s ass was; mind you, her ass was just at our eye-level.  Meanwhile, the girls were constantly looking up…to look at faces.

With the combination of your animalistic nature and simple mind, you’re drawn to whatever’s in front of you that feed into your shiny object syndrome.  For us on the other hand, we notice your face and only your face.  And it’s not just whether you have a good looking face or not, it’s whether the story that you tell with your face is intriguing enough for us to find out more.

For example, my girlfriend Tanya and I were at a bar and she was immediately focused on this one dude standing in a group of 5.  He was definitely not the most attractive of the group and I just couldn’t understand her attraction.  She later explained, “He had a kind face.”  This observation was not correlated to his actual physical traits, but more his facial mannerisms.  He had a genuine smile and his eyes were always fully engaged in the conversation.  Also, he didn’t have wandering eyes.  He was just having a great time with his buddies.

Girls are very observant.  We know when you’re on the prowl, when you’re checking us out, and when your goal is to get wasted.  But the most attractive “look” you can have is simply having a good time.  And even though you may have been hitting the gym hardcore working on your guns or you have a nice watch, those things can’t convey that you’re having a good time.  Only your face will.

Disclaimer: if you’ve got a pizza face or a snaggletooth, it won’t matter how much fun you’re having ’cause we won’t be looking at you in admiration.  Girls may be more forgiving of looks but we’re not saints.  If you want a girl who takes care of her looks, you should do the same, yo.