Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

I must be on a video kick lately. There are just so many good ones! I mean, how could I not share the love of smanging?

Are You Winning?

Posted: 03/03/2011 by Singlefied in Uncategorized
Tags: , ,

You would be winning if you were getting Singlefied emails.  Apparently some of you subscribers are getting our emails in your junk folder.   Sure we talk about dating strippers and how to keep your cock hard, but shit, we don’t need you to wire money to Nigeria to save your dying uncle.  Please double check that our emails aren’t being discriminated as spam.  Those fuckers.

And if you’d like to get first dibs on our posts, events, and specials, subscribe to Singlefied on the homepage.  So easy, Charlie Sheen can do it.

If email’s not your thang, there are other ways to keep connected.  We’re like a really good girlfriend.  We wanna:

Know what you’re thinking on Facebook

Know what you’re doing on Twitter

Know where you are on Foursquare (j/k, we’re not that psycho)

Spot Our Facebook Ad!

Posted: 02/08/2011 by Singlefied in Technology, Uncategorized
Tags: ,

If you happen to see it, let me know.  Gotta make sure this ish works.

Please help me welcome our first contributing blogger, Dick Lambert.  I met Dick 3 years ago and have since been mesmerized by his womanizing skills.  This guy can pull some hot ass without much effort.

Dick Lambert is a man’s man, plain and simple. He has slept with strippers, the occasional porn star, your girlfriend, all of your girlfriend’s friends, cousins, sisters, etc.  Currently he is working on the trifecta of two sisters and their mom.  His love for sleeping with all the women in a circle of friends borders on pathological but that’s OK, he is here to share some of his game with you.  Men may be from Mars and women must be from Venus but Dick is just a dick.

I heard from someone that MIT scientists emitted sounds of vaginal contractions into space to attract aliens.  Just a little skeptical, I went home and researched it.  So it turns out, it’s (mostly) true.  In 1986, MIT research affiliate, Joe Davis, was concerned that outerspace creatures had not been exposed to human genitalia.  He decided to record vaginal contractions of ballet dancers and transmitted the sounds into neighboring star systems.

First of all, was Mr. Davis trying to attract aliens or scare them away?  I mean, emitting sounds of vaginas in their feeding mode is not the most appetizing bait.  And balleriginas (good word, I know)?  Really?!  Good thing Black Swan didn’t come out back then because those are some of the scariest cunts that would give aliens nightmares.  Lastly, it’s inevitable that there was some queefing sprinkled in the soundtrack, right?  I’m sure you’ve experienced the awkward vaginal fart noises during sex when fluids and air bubbles are involved.  Do these aliens really want to hear some foreign object devouring and farting?  I think I just lost a little bit of respect for Mr. Davis and MIT.

Speaking of queefing, I once met a girl who went by the name Queen LaQueefa.  Now, that’s true talent.  Turn up the volume on this video (but probably not at work).

In honor of the Comcast-NBC merger, let’s celebrate with the merger of calves and ankles.  Both mergers provide us with hours of entertainment.  To show our appreciation, let’s declare today National Cankles Day.  This weekend, I was so excited to have spotted my first pair in person while in the dressing room.  I was so ecstatic I told my friend about it and she responded, “Have you never been to a Walmart?!”  Shit, I need to be paying more attention.

The only face you should cum on would be on our Face(book).  We be keepin’ it classy on this site.

Datingisms is live!

Posted: 01/03/2011 by Singlefied in Uncategorized

For those of you who don’t like to read too many words, Datingisms is here for you.

Snow sculptures in the shape of penises have created an uproar in Lafayette, Indiana.  The neighbors are not happy to see male genitalia, especially Ms. (Va)Ghina Robinson.

Along the same lines, no girl really likes seeing your penis.  We like the way it feels, but aesthetically, it’s not a masterpiece.  I know girls who are actually afraid of seeing penises and can only have sex in the dark.  I wonder, though, if our general “dislike” of cocks is because the lack of them in the media.  In porn (even porn for women), the penis takes a backstage to the vagina.  In movies, we see a gazillion boobs but I’m still curious what mini Brad Pitt looks like.

So what I’ve learned from this video is that we need to show more penises.  The end.

Found this hilarious site, OMG Cupid, that hosts a compilation of the freaks you’ll find on OKCupid.  I mean, what do you expect from a free dating site, right?  I have a lot to say about online dating, but I will save that for another post.  For now, enjoy some amazing pictures with your milk and cookies this Christmas morning.