It’s time again to visit this concept of the “Anti-Cliché” Cliché, someone who tries so hard to not be their expected stereotype that they end up being another stereotype. Last week, we took a look at the “anti-cliché” cliché dudes that women like to avoid, this week we examine avoidable chicks.
a) THE NERDY HOT GIRL
I turn heads and stop traffic. Basically, I’m hot as hell. I’ve pretty much been hot all my life and I have no problems meeting men. I actually expect men to hit on me wherever I go. Things come easy for me. A little too easy sometimes. But, you’d be surprised to find out how big of a nerd I am! I am such a nerd that I love talking about how much I’m a nerd. Have I told you that I’m a huge nerd? I love Star Wars, Star Trek, Star…anything. I read Wired and Geekologie.com and totally geeked out watching The Social Network. Just give me a pocket protector and send out a nerd alert! BTW, Olivia Munn is like my fave.
Why you’ll date me: I mean, why wouldn’t you? I’m like the perfect girl. I’ve got the looks and the brains and I can speak fluent nerd.
Why you should avoid me: I’m about as insecure as they come. I’ve relied my entire life on my looks, but nobody thinks I’m intelligent. Actually, I don’t even know if I’m intelligent. And yes, I pretend to be nerd to earn some street cred, but honestly, I’d rather watch Star Jones than Star Wars. If I was really into all this stuff, I wouldn’t have to constantly flaunt it and remind you of it to prove myself. But I do this because I want you to acknowledge that I am smart. I am smart, right?? ANSWER ME! If not, I’ll ask you again in 5 minutes.
b) THE ‘EVERYTHING BUTT’ VIRGIN
I am a good girl, but I’m not like most virgins It is true that I don’t believe in sex before marriage for moral reasons. I want to wear my white dress proudly unless all those other sluts. But, I am a freak in the bedroom; I have other ways of getting off. Such as licking ass, anal, anal beads, etc. As long as there’s no vaginal penetration from a penis, I am still a pristine little angel. Now fuck my ass.
Why you’ll date me: I’m a huge challenge for you. You want to see if you can take my V card. You’ll also intrigued by the fact that I’m “untouched.” Yet, you don’t find me as goodie-goodie as the other virgins who are just prudes.
Why you should avoid me: I am in denial of my sluttery. I want you to acknowledge that I am a good girl, damnit. Don’t talk dirty to me like I’m some little whore while I’m eating your ass. Don’t tell your friends what we do in the bedroom because I will flip out if your friends make any remarks about anal sex in front of me. Am I paranoid, you ask? Why? Who wants to know? My perfect image cannot be tainted. And so what if I can’t count how many cocks (or objects) I’ve had in my anus? Those don’t count.
c) THE ANTI-MARRIAGE MARRIAGE GIRL
I hate girls who are so desperate to get married and have kids. Ewww. What is wrong with those bitches? I don’t need a man to make me happy. I don’t need to get married. The M word makes me shudder, it’s repulsive. Sure, all my friends are getting married and I just feel bad for them. Gross.
Why you’ll date me: I’m a no-pressure type of gal. I’ll never bring up marriage so you’ll never feel like I’m rushing you to commit. I’m so different from all the other girls, you’ll brag about me to all your friends.
Why you should avoid me: I secretly want to get married. Really. Bad. I have a scrapbook, in my underwear drawer. I’m deciding between 2 dresses and the venue is set. Now I just need to find a husband. But I’ll be sneaky and make you think that I’m not on the marriage track, and then I’ll win you over with my charm and you’ll fall so hopelessly in love with me that you will be the one wanting to get married. But if you don’t (after I’ve been patient, chill, and awesome for all this time), oh you’ll hear it from me mister! How could you not want to marry me now?! My sudden urge to get married will seem like it came out of nowhere, but it’s been brewing. Just you wait for the explosion.